.
I think women got the fucked up end of the short stick.
I really do. Us guys have all the fun for real. We live though life being as stupid as we want. And feel good about being that way too. Women hate looking stupid. They get embarrassed when they look really fucking stupid, unless they are blonde, then they think they are cute, and largely they are. But us guys, we just give you the doofus face and then that's it. I tend to laugh. What the fuck? I did something stupid. Okay, I won't self destruct.
Women fear that they will. If a woman is walking and falls and busts her ass. I mean crash lands, with her ass in the air and her dress up around her neck showing off her Hello Kitty underwear, she'd die of embarrassment. Especially if she showed her ass. Just embarrassing. Fuck that. I walked around in a video store, more than once, drunk out of my mind. I mean so banged up in the head that I didn't even know that my slacks were zipped open and my Frankie Valli was lolling out like a tongue on a poodle.
I'm walking around the video store, actually staggering, and after getting a handful of CDs and going to the counter, I'm standing there in front of two young women who stare me in the face for a few minutes before one of them points down to my dick. I look down, and maybe it was the alcohol in my system, but I just tucked him away and thanked them for not calling the authorities and took my CDs home. Embarrassed? Maybe, but I'm not really certain. And this shit has happened to me more than once. I'm a glutton to show of my little pants pinkie to women in the streets. Maybe a cop will charge me one day.
But women, if the world got a gander at their little cooches, they'd die. You see, they gets no fun. We guys can sit around and see two women tongue kissing, and that shit lights up our day. Don't ask me why it does. It just does. I'm not so big on lesbians. I mean, let's be honest, they don't want to fuck me. And if they did, I wouldn't really like the idea of two women double teaming me in the sack. I couldn't fuck two women at the same time if you paid me. I mean it. Give me ten thousand dollars to do it, and I'll tell you to go fuck yourself.
But I'd have to make an addendum on that. Some have asked me if I would get into bed with two women and have some form of sex with them, even if it's cunnilingus. No, that's tough on the jaw after awhile. I can handle a single woman's needs. If she needs an hour of mouth loving, I can handle that. Two hours or more, that's pushing it. So I'd have to vote that down. But now...my favorite pastime and I'm really pushing for it to be a sport, like the NFL or NBA is fellatio.
I would easily allow two women to go down on me. Three if they were all just hanging around. FOUR if they could all fit their heads between my legs. Five or more would just be greedy. What am I doing, having a convention around my balls? But two women giving me head would be heaven, because I can just lay back on the couch with a remote in my hand and a beer in the other and watch television while these women, two or three, are taking turns beating their faces with my misfit love. Three women in a room, with the television playing and absolute silence from them. Can you imagine that? If one opens her mouth to speak, just drop my fun and games right into her skull. Yeah, that shit I can do.
And watch them kiss? Oh being a woman sucks because of that alone. If I saw two men kissing I'd poke myself in both eyes. And if I saw too much of it, I'd pull my eyes out. Not that I hate gay dudes mind you. Their sex just doesn't appeal to me. But even women love to see two women kiss. Shit a woman's secret desire is to fuck another woman. Don't fucking front with the Hobo. It's the God's Honest Truth. If a woman had her choice one night of either fucking another woman or a man, she'd at LEAST TRY a woman once. At least once, to see if she would like it. And if she says she would never. Take that shit with a grain of salt. She just hasn't seen a woman that she wanted to fuck yet.
But I would like that as a sport too. NWKA, the National Women's Kissing Association and the WFWPF. The Worldwide Federation of Women Performing Fellatio. Yes, that had to be a world wide tournament and not some fucking National one. Fuck that. Women do it ALL OVER THE GLOBE. There are aboriginals in the Australian outback breathing semen.
I bet you if you go to Mars right now, you'd find a Martian chick sucking on one of the two antennae coming off of the top of a male martian's head. I'm not being mean or rude. I'm just stating some facts of life. The sooner you accept it, the better off you can deal with it. Especially a guy. You want to fuck her, but she's fucking your sister. You want her to give you head, but she's blowing the cool guy with the leather jacket and motorcycle. Get it together guys.
Oh and you dudes, stop bitching and moaning that it's because you are too ugly, geeky or dopey looking that you can't get a woman to blow you. You've got to be kidding! Have you ever heard the 'pretty boy's' heartbreaking story where he takes the head of the cheerleading squad out on a date, and gets laid on the first night? He goes and brags to his buddies on how he scored with the hottest chick in high school and they take him behind the bleachers where there she is, in her cheerleading uniform, pom poms under her knees blowing all TEN of the honor students to allow her to cheat off their tests and to do her school papers. What's really funny! Pretty boy was just talking about what a super kisser she was!! Ha ha ha!
Commerce baby, commerce.
Hobobob is the one who will tell you like he's heard it. All you need to do is listen.
Hobobob
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