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Monday, May 31, 2010

The Lair is Hot in June!





We Banditas enjoy vacations as much as anyone but we don’t take the summer off....too many stories in our vivid imaginations to take a break. And boy, do we kick the summer off right this month!

On June 2nd, Anna Campbell hosts debut historical romance author Maggie Robinson – or is she perhaps appearing as her alter ego Margaret Rowe? Maggie will be giving away a signed copy of MISTRESS BY MISTAKE.

And that’s just the beginning of a bountiful week.



Virna DePaul is visiting on the 3rd. Virna’s debut, CHOSEN BY BLOOD, is out with Berkley in 4/11 and she’s sharing her insights as she goes through the process of sold to debut. She’ll talk about Challenging Your Editor or Agent – when it’s really okay to speak up.







We end this first week on a high note with a return visit from Carrie Lofty on June the 4th. Our very own Christie Kelley talks with Carrie about her new release SONG OF SEDUCTION.















On June 7th Loucinda McGary hosts Vanessa Kelly to talk about her sizzling new release SEX AND THE SINGLE EARL.











Swing by the Lair on June 12th and see how a teenager who already has social issues deals with the suddenly acquired ability to interact with ghosts. YA author Maureen Hardegree chats with Nancy about HAIN’T MISBEHAVIN, Maureen's new novel from Bell Bridge Books.










The 16th of the month yours truly hosts a return visit with RITA award winning author Kristan Higgins to talk about honesty and her most recent release “the next best thing”. I’m fairly certain we can get her to spill about her August release “all I ever wanted”. (Yes, I have started a FB campaign for my kitten Cricket to be featured on her next cover. Hey! It worked for Betty White!).



On the 21st, Kris Kennedy visits with us to talk with us about her latest THE IRISH WARRIOR.





Pamela Palmer is visits on the 27th, talking about Writing on the wild side - or Where do you come up with this stuff? And her latest release, RAPTURE UNTAMED which hits the shelves June 29.


We have one contest this month.

Anna Campbell has a mini novella called ‘Upon a Midnight Clear’ in THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF REGENCY ROMANCE (released on 24th June in the U.K. and 27th July in the U.S.). To celebrate, she’s giving away two signed copies! All you have to do is email her on anna@annacampbell.info and name two authors other than Anna Campbell who have stories in THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF REGENCY ROMANCE. You might find the answer in her June Latest News: http://www.annacampbell.info/latest.html or on the publisher’s website: http://www.constablerobinson.com/?section=books&book=the_mammoth_book_of_regency_romance_9781849010153_paperback The contest closes 31st July, 2010 and for more details please visit her website: http://www.annacampbell.info/contest.html

Whew! What a month! So fill up the lemonade (or margarita) glass, plop under a beach umbrella and prepare to have fun!

Guest Post: A Few of My Favorite Things

+ Sun-kissed freckles. Not only are they adorable, they give me an excuse to go easy on the makeup all summer long.

+ Architectural salvage yards. I have this dream of living in a modern home, sprinkled with rustic details, like this sliding barn door.

+ Being feminine.

+ Big, thick, oversized glasses. I crush on a new pair every week.

+ Hats. My mom had me in all sorts of different styles from an early age. Right now I'm enamored of a classic fedora I picked during a trip to Sonoma, California.

+ Boy things, like flannel, hiking boots, oversized watches, broken-in jeans, and super soft T-shirts. I'm always stealing my fiancé's clothes!

+ Cats that do human things. Like this one.

+ Cheeky accessories. I'm a true nerd at heart, with a soft spot for dry humor. I love these playful mittens from Kate Spade. Gotta find a pair on eBay!

+ The best days start with two slices of avocado toast.

+ Designer Paul Rand. Get to know his work here.

-- By Kate from Wit + Delight

The Numerous Facets of Compassion


Well, I spent a wonderful afternoon at WECARE's sprawling assessment complex on 51st street. I walk into a large waiting room, divided in two by the front doors and up to a long desk to announce that you have arrived for your appointment, and you take a seat. THEN YOU WAIT MOTHERFUCKER!!! Oh, yeah, get it straight into your mind, you are going to wait, and wait to the tune of five hours before you go through this entire process. I was called in within ten minutes to a room with four others, where I was handed a urine cup and booklets, and instructed that it will take about four hours to get through the entire evaluation. No, she was lying, it took FIVE.

Most of it waiting in the waiting room. They had large monitors up at the ceilings, in the corners of the waiting room, where movies were playing. That was alright. I hate to come in the middle of a movie, even if it is a movie that I've already seen before. I had my book: Just Kids, by Patti Smith, given to me as a birthday present by July, that gorgeous redhead. It's a very interesting book. I never knew that Patti Smith had a relationship with photographer Robert Mapplethorpe back in the sixties. Her life and his, were somewhat parallel to mine, barely making it by, living low to the ground. She was even homeless and had to live off the charity of the streets. Struggling artists syndrome I guess.

I'm called and I follow a female social worker into an office filled with cubicles. She explains that this will go really fast if I don't offer explanations unless she asks for them. I nod. She calls up windows on her computer screen and starts to fill out digital forms, asking me questions as she goes along, and I give her terse responses. We fly through this strange form of interrogation in less than forty five minutes. Then I'm taken to a line of chairs in the hallway and told to sit. Someone will be coming out to get me. Here, let me describe the situation. There are a line of seven chairs. I'm in the farthest left chair, and this woman is in the farthest right, on her cell phone. She is going nuts. Firstly, she looks like a crack addict. Skinny, with skin like a wrinkled raisin, sunken eyes, frazzled hair. She's complaining to someone on the other end of the cellphone that she has been there for four hours and has seen NO ONE. I wonder if she is speaking either to her pimp or drug dealer.

Well, as long as she keeps her shit clear down to the other side of the row of seats she's fine by me. I get into my book. Presently another woman, this one with suspicious, hungry features takes a seat RIGHT NEXT TO ME. There are at least five more empty seats in the row. Why sit all up beside me. I look at her and she smiles, then for some reason, she and the crack addict get into a conversation about waiting on 'these people'. The crackhead was there since 11:00am, and has not had anything to eat all day. Her hypoglycemia is acting up. Maybe her need for a crack rush was doing it more. The weirdo seated up against me offers her some cookies, which the crack addict hungrily accepts. A nurse comes into the hallway behind her, calls out her name, and tells her to follow. Both nurse and crackhead stride down the hall and turn a corner, forever gone from my sight.

I feel the eyes of the weirdo boring into the side of my head, while I'm trying to read my book. I can see her burning eyes in my peripheral vision. It's as if she is trying to stare conversation out of me. I get uncomfortable, angry even, as was just about to ask her if I could help her with anything when a nurse emerged and called my name. I got up and gratefully followed her into an examination room. She checked my weight (wow, I had lost weight) , my height, my eyesight, took my blood and gave me an EKG, then she asked me to fill up my piss cup. I was led to the nearest bathroom and I went through the routine.

The nurse led me back to the main waiting room and I sat and watched a movie that was just coming on: The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. I liked that movie, and to see it from the beginning would be great fun. The timing was just right. Well, about forty five minutes into the movie my name is called. SHIT!! I rise from my seat and follow a male doctor into another examination room. I'm asked the fated question that they ALWAYS end up asking you in these reviews. "Do I feel like harming myself or others?" "Do I hear voices?" "Do I see things?" No, no, yes, yes. Well 'maybe' on the first one. Yeah, I tried to kill myself twice, but I've lived a long time, and when I was a teenager and then later, after I was married for awhile I made attempts, but that was water under the bridge, many, many years ago.

The doctor looks at me, nods and continues typing into his computer. A score of other questions come up. He marvels at the amount of drugs that I take on a daily basis. I'm up to fourteen different prescriptions now. I am well medicated. This process takes another forty five minutes and I am led out into the waiting room once again. I stop, look around....EVERY SEAT IN THE WAITING ROOM IS EMPTY. There is no one here in the building. Fuck. I sit down and wait. I read, and in time my name is called and I follow a little Latina down a hall and into her office. She has to schedule me for three more bonehead visits. Yeah, I've been through all of this before. This isn't my first time in the belly of the beast.

After I am resched- uled, I am allowed to leave and head home. It's around 6:00pm and during the crush of rush hour. Oh, I am really miserable. I get home, sit down and watch television, make dinner, ruminate. I'm writing a play now, so far only two acts, but its for some friends in Florida who are interested in doing something big. I am completely excited to be a part of it. I haven't had the motivation to write anything in a long time. Well, I guess you can tell by looking at my blog recently. I'm just not into writing anything. Stupid me. Don't I realize yet that this is the only ticket out of Dodge? Stupid me.

About July. She came down again, this time after Christmas, during the cold and snow season. We had a great time together. She took me to an Art museum. We walked around the city, I took her here and there, and she stayed at a hotel that night. In the morning I got up and went to her hotel which was down near 72nd street, on the West Side. I picked her up to take her to breakfast and then to the bus to the airport. We went to my favorite dive, Smith's Bar and Restaurant. All during breakfast I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I was pretty certain that I was making her uncomfortable, but her eyes were like open ocean, blue-green aquamarine. July turned a corner for me that day. She went from average to stunningly attractive. Just a natural beauty.

I think, as with all men, that we are mainly brainwashed by our peers and the media to look for the supermodel, the covergirl. She has these proportions that don't match most of the women in American society, and we, the instant we meet a woman, measure her up to these impossible standards. Our brains quickly go from reasonable to ridiculous. But time, time is the true measuring stick. The more time that I spent with July, the more entrancing she became. I began to see her for the 'woman' that she was. A real, flesh and blood woman, and not something that you would see naked in a Playboy magazine. While we are eating breakfast, July gets a phone call. Her flight has been canceled for the day. Whoopee! I almost jumped out of my skin. I get to spend another day with her! I AM a fortunate son!

She argued with the person on the phone, stating that she had nowhere to stay overnight. I offered to her my home. She frowned, then smiled. "You must be loving this," she says to me. I laugh, are you kidding me? I'm going to start slapping the shit out of myself in a few seconds! We hung out for the rest of the day, searched for an Indian restaurant and dined, then went to a wine bar that night and hung out pretty late. Then we left for my home.

On the next day, her bus arrived in front of Grand Central and she poked me in my chest with a rigid finger: "You better take care of yourself!" I nod. She climbed aboard, the doors to the bus closed and the vehicle pulled from the sidewalk and turned down 42nd street, taking her from me to the airport. When the bus was out of sight, that's when I felt it, pure, sharp, painful. She had gouged out my heart, placed it in her bag and left. The Hobo had to finally admit it. He was completely stricken. This was not going to be an easy next five years. I knew that now. This was not going to be easy.

This story is FAR from over.

Hobobob

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Okay, so this one time?

by Susan Sey

Today is Memorial Day. Summer is now officially open for business. Up here in the north land, Memorial Day is when the swimming pools open up. It's when public parks turn on the drinking fountains & put out the portapotties. It's when we throw caution to the wind and finally plant the darn tomatoes, late season blizzards be damned.

It's also the day our nation sets aside to pay tribute to the men and women who've died while serving in our armed forces.

This is not a surprise to me. Nor should it be at the end of my What Memorial Day Means to Me list. My dad served in a National Guard unit in the sixties. My Uncle Harry was Air Force. My grandpa served the Army in WWI. My father-in-law spent his entire career in the Air Force, and my brother-in-law flew fighter jets for the Navy. My Uncle Bill was...well, he was colorful. As I believe a lot of sailors are. But they all came through their service --thank God--healthy & whole.

And they brought stories with them when they came home. Lord, the stories these men brought home. My Uncle Bill especially. When we were kids we never got tired of hearing the one where he was standing guard on some ship & did the whole "Halt, who goes there?" routine on a superior officer named Marvel. A captain, as it happened. Captain Marvel.

Uncle Bill: "Halt! Who goes there?"

Captain Marvel: "Captain Marvel."

UB: "Riiiiiiight. Really, now. Who goes there?"

CM, with strained patience: "Captain. Marvel."

UB, skeptically: "Mmm-hmm. Mmmm-hmm. Captain Marvel?"

CM: "That's right."

Thoughtful pause.

UB: "Can I be Superman?"

Apparently, they really do make you peel potatoes for mouthing off in the military. That's not just Beetle Bailey stuff. At least according to my Uncle Bill, who--admittedly--wasn't the most reliable of sources. We were never sure when we were kids where the line was between fact & fiction when it came to his stories, but it hardly mattered. That wasn't the point. It was all about the story and the picture he painted with his words and that three-pack-a-day-and-a-shot-of-whiskey voice.

Now when most people die, their friends and relatives tell stories about them at the funeral. When my Uncle Bill died, we told stories about his stories. It was a powerful reminder to me of how important stories are. They're an honor and a tribute, a temporary recreation of something fleeting and human. They're a kind of magic, really. And I can't think of a better way to recognize the service and sacrifice of our soldiers than by performing that particular magic in their honor.

It's war story day in the Lair! Pull up a log, sit around our virtual campfire, have a beer or a soda or a s'more and tell us about your favorite soldier. I'll bet I'm not the only one with an Uncle Bill hanging out in the family tree. Come on--share!

Selecting A Weapon In Dungeons And Dragons

One of the features of ADnD that has always left me unsatisfied is variable damage by weapon. I have commented on this in the past, and since I just posted about weapon quality, I thought this would be an opportune time to post my recent thoughts on weapon selection.

I like to see players selecting weapons based on role-playing, not roll-playing: selecting a weapon based on their character template, rather than how much damage the weapon inflicts. ADnD makes that difficult, as there are weapons in ADnD that are clearly better from a min-maxing perspective. Why use a battleaxe (1d8/1d8) with a speed of 7 (slower) when you can use a longsword (1d8/1d12) with a speed of 5 (faster)?

As usual, Avalon Hill's Magic Realm (and to a lesser extent, Metagaming's Melee) comes to the rescue. In Magic Realm, all weapons are classified by their weight, and characters that are strong enough, can wield those heavier weapons, therefore inflicting more damage. All weapons in that weight category do the same damage. Melee uses a similar approach.

Marrying the Magic Realm and Melee weapon damage systems with Dungeons and Dragons provides me with the following solution.

Weapon Selection Table
Strength : Damage : Examples and Comments
Str 3 - 4 : Negligible (d3) : Blackjack, Knife, Dart, Stone
Str 5 – 7 : Light (d4) : Club, Dagger, Javelin, Hatchet, Sling bullet, Staff
Str 8 – 10 : Medium (d6) : Mace, Shortsword, Spear, Axe, Hammer, Arrow, Bolt, Pick
Str 11- 13 : Heavy (d8) : Flail, Longsword, Polearm, Battleaxe, Scimitar, Warhammer, Pickaxe
Str 14 – 16 : Tremendous (d10) : Maul, Greatsword, Lance, Greataxe, Morningstar, Mattock
Str 17 – 18 : Overswing (d12) : Can Overswing Tremendous Weapons For d12 Damage

Weapons that characters can use in combat, without experiencing fatigue, is based on their Strength. In addition, characters can overswing weapons in a lower weight category, raising the weapon's damage to the next higher damage category. That allows those characters to do extra damage with a weapon in a lower class.

For example, a Strength 12 Character can use a Longsword (d8). That Character can also overswing a Shortsword to bring it up to d8, from d6; or, can overswing a Dagger to bring it up to a d6, from a d4; or, can overswing a Knife to a d4, from d3.

Players are not restricted to weapons in, or below, their Strength category. For example, a Character with a Strength of 8 can still pick up and wield a Greatsword. However, since I use the longer, one-minute combat rounds, that Character suffers fatigue from swinging, parrying and blocking with the Greatsword, equal to the number of levels above the character's normal ability. Since the Greatsword is two levels above that character's normal ability, she suffers two fatigue (deducted from her hit points) every round she continues to wield the Greatsword in combat.

Selecting A Weapon In Dungeons And Dragons

One of the features of ADnD that has always left me unsatisfied is variable damage by weapon. I have commented on this in the past, and since I just posted about weapon quality, I thought this would be an opportune time to post my recent thoughts on weapon selection.

I like to see players selecting weapons based on role-playing, not roll-playing: selecting a weapon based on their character template, rather than how much damage the weapon inflicts. ADnD makes that difficult, as there are weapons in ADnD that are clearly better from a min-maxing perspective. Why use a battleaxe (1d8/1d8) with a speed of 7 (slower) when you can use a longsword (1d8/1d12) with a speed of 5 (faster)?

As usual, Avalon Hill's Magic Realm (and to a lesser extent, Metagaming's Melee) comes to the rescue. In Magic Realm, all weapons are classified by their weight, and characters that are strong enough, can wield those heavier weapons, therefore inflicting more damage. All weapons in that weight category do the same damage. Melee uses a similar approach.

Marrying the Magic Realm and Melee weapon damage systems with Dungeons and Dragons provides me with the following solution.

Weapon Selection Table
Strength : Damage : Examples and Comments
Str 3 - 4 : Negligible (d3) : Blackjack, Knife, Dart, Stone
Str 5 – 7 : Light (d4) : Club, Dagger, Javelin, Hatchet, Sling bullet, Staff
Str 8 – 10 : Medium (d6) : Mace, Shortsword, Spear, Axe, Hammer, Arrow, Bolt, Pick
Str 11- 13 : Heavy (d8) : Flail, Longsword, Polearm, Battleaxe, Scimitar, Warhammer, Pickaxe
Str 14 – 16 : Tremendous (d10) : Maul, Greatsword, Lance, Greataxe, Morningstar, Mattock
Str 17 – 18 : Overswing (d12) : Can Overswing Tremendous Weapons For d12 Damage

Weapons that characters can use in combat, without experiencing fatigue, is based on their Strength. In addition, characters can overswing weapons in a lower weight category, raising the weapon's damage to the next higher damage category. That allows those characters to do extra damage with a weapon in a lower class.

For example, a Strength 12 Character can use a Longsword (d8). That Character can also overswing a Shortsword to bring it up to d8, from d6; or, can overswing a Dagger to bring it up to a d6, from a d4; or, can overswing a Knife to a d4, from d3.

Players are not restricted to weapons in, or below, their Strength category. For example, a Character with a Strength of 8 can still pick up and wield a Greatsword. However, since I use the longer, one-minute combat rounds, that Character suffers fatigue from swinging, parrying and blocking with the Greatsword, equal to the number of levels above the character's normal ability. Since the Greatsword is two levels above that character's normal ability, she suffers two fatigue (deducted from her hit points) every round she continues to wield the Greatsword in combat.

Rules Transparency: Weapon Quality

There are two schools of thought regarding rules transparency. One school holds that the players should know the rules of the game, at the outset, to ensure that they have all the information they need to make good, in-game choices. Another school argues that the rules should be discovered, in-game, or should be common-sense rules that the players should know from real-life anyway.

Let me give you an example of a non-transparent rule. One of the rules I have often applied, but have not revealed to the players, is that the cost of an item is often, though not always, a good indicator of quality. This is a common-sense rule, but one that I do not explicitly reveal to the players prior to the game.

Let's apply that rule to the purchase of weapons.

In my games, second-hand weapons that are sold cheaply are often poorly made or badly maintained.

For those weapons that are new, but sold cheaply, it may be because the Weaponsmith knows they are brittle or soft, and so discounts the price of those less sturdy weapons. Alternatively, the weapons may have been made by one of her apprentices, whose skills are not up to the same standards as the master Weaponsmith.

Players will often want to haggle with the NPC Weaponsmiths and shopkeepers, to pay the least they can for their weapons. It can be tempting for the Players to purchase weapons that are cheaper, thus saving their coins for other purchases and activities.

Most weapons are worth between 3 and 15 coins. Light weapons that do 1d4 damage cost 1d6 coins. Medium weapons that that do 1d6 damage cost 2d6 coins. Heavy Weapons that do 1d8 of damage cost 3d6 coins. Tremendous weapons inflicting 1d10 damage cost 4d6 coins. I often allow the players to purchase whatever weapon they desire, designating what level of damage the weapon does. The player can then dice for the cost of the weapon, advising me as to the type and weight (damage level) of the weapon, and final purchase price.

Once the purchase price and weight (damage level) of the weapon is known, I roll a number of addition d6 so that the total number of dice rolled is 6. So for a medium weapon that costs 2d6, I roll an additional 4d6. I add the cost of the weapon, and my roll, and consult the following chart.

Weapon Quality Table
Score : Condition : Notes
6 – 11 : Flawed Weapon : breaks on first combat use
12 - 17 : Poor Quality: breaks on roll of 1, 2 or 3
18 – 24 : Average Quality : breaks on a roll of 1
25 – 30 : Excellent Quality : weapon gets saving throw on roll of 1
31 – 36 : Masterwork : roll 2 dice, weapon does higher damage

The result of this table (particularly for those more expensive weapons) is that players who pay very little for their weapons are more likely to find out the hard way that they got what they paid for. I do not reveal the above game mechanics however. Those players who decide to purchase items on the cheap will have to find out, during the game, that weapon cost and quality often go hand-in-hand.

Rules Transparency: Weapon Quality

There are two schools of thought regarding rules transparency. One school holds that the players should know the rules of the game, at the outset, to ensure that they have all the information they need to make good, in-game choices. Another school argues that the rules should be discovered, in-game, or should be common-sense rules that the players should know from real-life anyway.

Let me give you an example of a non-transparent rule. One of the rules I have often applied, but have not revealed to the players, is that the cost of an item is often, though not always, a good indicator of quality. This is a common-sense rule, but one that I do not explicitly reveal to the players prior to the game.

Let's apply that rule to the purchase of weapons.

In my games, second-hand weapons that are sold cheaply are often poorly made or badly maintained.

For those weapons that are new, but sold cheaply, it may be because the Weaponsmith knows they are brittle or soft, and so discounts the price of those less sturdy weapons. Alternatively, the weapons may have been made by one of her apprentices, whose skills are not up to the same standards as the master Weaponsmith.

Players will often want to haggle with the NPC Weaponsmiths and shopkeepers, to pay the least they can for their weapons. It can be tempting for the Players to purchase weapons that are cheaper, thus saving their coins for other purchases and activities.

Most weapons are worth between 3 and 15 coins. Light weapons that do 1d4 damage cost 1d6 coins. Medium weapons that that do 1d6 damage cost 2d6 coins. Heavy Weapons that do 1d8 of damage cost 3d6 coins. Tremendous weapons inflicting 1d10 damage cost 4d6 coins. I often allow the players to purchase whatever weapon they desire, designating what level of damage the weapon does. The player can then dice for the cost of the weapon, advising me as to the type and weight (damage level) of the weapon, and final purchase price.

Once the purchase price and weight (damage level) of the weapon is known, I roll a number of addition d6 so that the total number of dice rolled is 6. So for a medium weapon that costs 2d6, I roll an additional 4d6. I add the cost of the weapon, and my roll, and consult the following chart.

Weapon Quality Table
Score : Condition : Notes
6 – 11 : Flawed Weapon : breaks on first combat use
12 - 17 : Poor Quality: breaks on roll of 1, 2 or 3
18 – 24 : Average Quality : breaks on a roll of 1
25 – 30 : Excellent Quality : weapon gets saving throw on roll of 1
31 – 36 : Masterwork : roll 2 dice, weapon does higher damage

The result of this table (particularly for those more expensive weapons) is that players who pay very little for their weapons are more likely to find out the hard way that they got what they paid for. I do not reveal the above game mechanics however. Those players who decide to purchase items on the cheap will have to find out, during the game, that weapon cost and quality often go hand-in-hand.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

A Special Library Visit

posted by gullar sahir

The DH and I just returned from a little jaunt to Utah and Colorado for our anniversary, and a fun time was had by all, especially when I discovered both The Wild Sight and The Treasures of Venice in the Pikes Peak Library District collection!

We had visited Arches National Park and then Canyonlands both in Utah before we decided to drive up Pikes Peak in Colorado. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the ranger station, we were told that the summit was closed due to 90 mph winds! ACK! We definitely didn't want to go up there even if they would have permitted us!

Instead, we drove back into town to the historic section called Colorado City. As soon as I spotted the beautiful old Carnegie library building, I urged my DH to stop. The library I'd loved so much as a child was a Carnegie building too!

My DH dropped me off and I went inside to check my email. Since I didn't have a reservation, I could only use the internet for 15 minutes, but that was enough time to get my daily fix! So when I was done, just for the heck of it, I decided to put my name in the library 'author search.' To my complete surprise and delight, both The Wild Sight and The Treasures of Venice popped up!

Matter of fact, The Treasures of Venice was in the very library branch where I was standing! With my heart a-flutter, I logged off the computer and went in search of 'the paperback collection.' After a few minutes of walking around, I discovered that all of 'the paperback collection' was contained on two sets of bookshelves (this was a small library after all).

And there was MY book, on the top of the second set of shelves! How lucky to have my name start with "M" because A through L occupied the first shelf and M through Z the second. With such a small collection of paperbacks, I felt even more special to have The Treasures of Venice included! Best of all, as my DH pointed out when he came in a few minutes later and I dragged him over to see, the pages looked ruffled.

Someone had definitely checked the book out and read it!

I spent many happy hours in the library as a child and even more as an adult, so finding my book in a small library in another state was a very big thrill for me! Plus this was my first time seeing any of my books actually on the shelf in any library. As a child, I used to read all those author names on the spines of all those books and imagine how wonderful it must feel to have a book you wrote sitting there for people to read. Well, now I know, and IT FEELS GREAT!

What about you? Do you have any special memories of libraries? Please share them with us here in the Lair. I know I missed the recent late night reading session, but we can certainly have another one. Please share what you are reading for this lovely weekend. SHHHH! Just don't tell Sven, the gladiators, and the new guy, Paolo!

The Truest Afterlife


There is a soft knock on my door.

I am not asleep. I am watching TV on the Internet, my recent stress reliever. I look at the door, then the clock. It is Five O'clock in the morning. Who the fuck is knocking on my door at Five O'clock in the morning? I turn the volume down on my favorite show: LIFE, and listen. The knocks come again and again. Did they hear the television? Then silence.

I'm not sleeping lately. I just don't. Somehow I got up and stayed up. My body does not like to be asleep, so it has decided to keep me up. I close my eyes to sleep and time passes but I do not go under. I just lay there until I'm tired of laying there. I finally get up in frustration and turn on my computer which boots up, comes up and then goes off. Bitch. It's been doing that lately. Just turning off and leaving me cold. The fan is dead on the system. I have to replace it. In time baby, in time.

I sit in the darkness, at 2:30 in the morning, staring at a dead screen, there is a soft knocking on my door. I look at it, and I worry. I have not been sleeping, not been doing well, is this a auditory hallucination? What the fuck is this? Who is knocking on my door at 2:30 in the morning? But then another thought comes to mind....IS THERE someone out there, knocking on my door at 2:30 in the morning?

Is this ANOTHER hallu- cination? I stand to go for the door, then stop. If I open the door, it will resolve too much. There could be a cold blooded killer with a gun to my face on the other side, there could be no one. I sit back down. Not that I'm afraid of a cold blooded killer with a gun. I am more afraid of seeing nothing there. That is the most scariest thing that can ever happen to you. When your world turns over in your head, and you see and hear things that aren't there. It makes you doubt your own sanity, and on the few hours of sleep that I get in a week, this is not good.

I avoid the door. Stopping my Internet TV and crawling into bed and staying in the fetus position. I don't go to sleep. I just stay there. Lay there. There are no more knocks. Could this be Igor, coming at odd hours of the night, looking for a friend? I think about that, but that is very remote. Igor did come one time to my room at some late hour with wine and flowers. It's in the blog here somewhere. I told him to get the fuck away from me. He never returned at such a strange hour. Then, just yesterday, I saw him in the lobby. He asked me if I needed help with my rent or the cable connection. I told him that I had it all covered. He made no mention of knocking at my door at some obscene hour and that I didn't answer. He would definitely have, he didn't. It wasn't him.

My diet has changed, against my wishes. I tend to buy what I WANT to eat. I have been walking through the grocery aisles for hours the past month. All I purchase is vegetables in cans, steak, fish and butter. Sometimes pork, which makes me sick, except for bacon. I have become a carnivore. More than I've ever been. Vegetables, 20%, Meat, 80%. It is not beyond me to make a rare steak in the mornings and gobble it down, blood and all. What is this about?

Oh, the red head. Oh god, how do I tell you about her? She is unbelievable. I wake up thinking about her and go to sleep thinking about her. She is the lynchpin to all of my energy. I met her here on this blog. She wrote to me, I wrote to her, we had a lot in common. Then our correspondence moved from the blog posts to email. We sent email to each other like bullets in a fucking machine gun. I just kept responding to her, because she seemed to be one of my avid readers who wanted a response from me...well that was until she told me that she was flying into New York to meet me.

Consider my reluctance. I'm a fucking hobo, and a woman of means is coming to meet me. What the fuck is that about? Is she a news reporter? What? Not that I'm afraid of news reporters, I had one follow me for a year, shadowing everything that I did. I just didn't know what to make of her. Who and what was she? She was coming though. The tickets have already been purchased, the hotel reservations made. She was coming. Now, am I going to man up and meet her?

I did....hey, I'm sorry that I didn't put this in my blog to begin with, I wish I did, but I didn't want to spook her, frighten her. I wanted to protect her. Don't ask me why I wanted to protect a stranger, I just wanted to protect her. My life is pretty public, and I hold very little back, but in this account, I did. We arranged to meet up at Astor Plaza, just blocks away from the homeless shelter that I lived in. I stood a block away from our agreed upon meeting place. She did not arrive. Then there was a woman who was standing there and I looked at her, and assumed that it was my redhead. I approached, she, not noticing me, walked off, and I just stood there, wondering. Was I stood up?

"Hey, Hobobob!" I hear, and turn about. It's the red head. Nothing spectacular, average in fact. Hey, she came all the way up to New York to meet me. I shook her hand, and off we walked. I took her to an Indian restaurant, and she paid for lunch. Two of my best friends love Indian food, so I had an idea of where to take her and what I wanted, but as life deals cards, I could not find a place and could not decide what to eat. She guided me through it all. We talked over lunch, and in the first five minutes of her dialogue about herself, I was intrigued. Usually, women who talk about themselves are BORING. Their cats, their quilts, their friends, their exes. God help me!!!

But the red head was different, let's call her July. July was smart, intelligent, sharp. She was cooking with gas. I couldn't STOP listening to her, and when lunch was over, I was depressed. We met each other since this lunch. She even took me to a Patti Smith concert at Lincoln Center at the bandshell. Shit! How did she know that the bandshell was my most favorite place to go to in the summer? I used to go there for the Mostly Mozart concerts. My ex-wife and I used to bring bottles of red wine, sit and listen to his music, and get plastered. Then in the back seat of my car in the Lincoln Center parking lot....well, you can take it from there, or maybe when I got her home...well, memory fades.

July flew away and I was alone again. No problem, I'm used to that shit. I'm a loner. I passed her away to the heavens, and they claimed her. I was certain that I would never see her again. Absolutely certain. I walked through the dark of a New York gloom, down barren sidewalks, back to the homeless shelter. I crawled into bed with scores of other men. Closed my eyes.

And she danced behind my eyelids. This story is FAR from over.

Hobobob

Friday, May 28, 2010

On This Day in History

On this day 40 years ago, in a small town in Kentucky, I was born. No matter how many times I do the math, I can't believe I'm 40. I don't feel 40.

Curious about what else might have happened on all the May 29th dates in history, I did a little research and here's what I found:

In 1453, Constantinople fell to the Turks, who renamed it Istanbul.

In 1660, Charles II was restored to the English throne after 11 years of commonwealth under Oliver Cromwell. It happened to be Charles' 30th birthday. (Interesting, since I just started watching the first season of The Tudors.)

In 1765, U.S. patriot Patrick Henry presented the Virginia Resolutions and said, "If this be treason, make the most of it." It was his 29th birthday.

In 1790, Rhode Island became the last of the original 13 colonies to ratify the U.S. Constitution.

In 1848, Wisconsin became the 30th state.

In 1903, Bob Hope was born.

In 1917, John F. Kennedy was born.

In 1953, Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay became the first mountain climbers to reach the summit of Mt. Everest.

In 1958, Annette Bening was born in Topeka, Kansas.

In 1959, actor Adrian Paul (of TV's Highlander) was born.

Okay, everyone, play along. What historic things happened on your date of birth? With whom do you share a birthday?

And for everyone in the U.S., have a happy and safe Memorial Day weekend. Enjoy those cookouts! I know I will.

Reckless Launch Winners!

Oh, my aching head! Thanks so much to everyone for a wonderful launch day on the Bandits yesterday! I had real trouble picking three winners, but after much ado, they are:

Chelley (who deserves a book after dealing with the chook!)

Danielle Ferries

S7anna


Congratulations, girls! Please email me on anna@annacampbell.info with your snail mail details and I'll sort out your books for you!

FASHION FRIDAY WITH DOMINO (GUEST STARRING PEST #2)


Today, we are continuing the themes from earlier this week, and adding a touch of fashion for Fashion Friday.

If you recall, on Tuesday, Domino explored Daddy's new barbecue, and on Wednesday, Domino was pestered by her brother Dylan.

Well today, we are combining the barbecue (now being used as a modelling apparatus) along with interludes involving another pest (for purposes of this post, simply known as Pest #2).  Despite all of this, Domino does her utmost to model her latest sultry style in a professional manner.  Only you can say if she has succeeded or not.

Here, Domino starts off down the runway.


She stops and turns slightly so the audience can get a better view of her dazzling dress.  The dress is black, yellow and white with touches of taupe.


The black bodice culminates in a two-tier frilly skirt which accentuates one of the wearer's most impressive assets.  Note how Domino has curled her tail ever so fetchingly to draw particular attention to this feature.


The black bodice is topped with a silky patterned bow, tied at the neck.  


The bow draws your focus upwards towards Domino's beautiful face.


  WE REGRET THAT WE MUST INTERRUPT THE PROGRAM IN PROGRESS DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES.


Domino stops dead in her tracks and refuses to pose for the camera until
Pest #2 is removed from the scene.

Pest #2 gets a little too upclose and purrsonal for Domino's liking.


"All I wontid to do was smell her purrty dress", says Dante, aka Pest #2.


"I'm sorry, mama -- I wont doos it again!"

WE NOW RESUME THIS PROGRAM AT A DIFFERENT VENUE.


Domino is now atop her modelling platform to better demonstrate all aspects of her stylish outfit.


She stretches her head skyward to display the bow-rimmed neckline at its best advantage.


And she crouches low and swishes her skirts for full effect.


Domino is also a spokesmodel and she has lots to say about the designer of her new dress.


"Dis dress is made by my faFURite designah.  He is KWITE REMARKABLE!"


"KWITE is radder noo on da fashun seen, so I is tryin' to do efurryfing I can to spread da wurd.  Remember dat name -- itz kinda catchy so is hawd to forget -- Kwite Remarkable, dat's him!


Just as Domino was finishing up with her accolades for her new favourite designer, Pest #2 returns.  Pests tend to do that, you know -- that is why they are called pests, because they're so persistent.


Apparently, all that Dante wanted, this time, was for mama to take his picture, too.  He's not accustomed to being second banana to anyone.  So here he is in all his glory, even though he doesn't have an outfit on for Fashion Friday. 

I hate to say it, but sometimes naked is best.  Especially on a pest.