Doughnuts are Not Cookies

"Hobobob, you've been talking about stats a lot lately. What's up with the two counters on the side there, and why does your 'Popular Post This Week' never change?"

Hmmm, very difficult questions, Grasshopper. Well, the reason why I'm into my stats so much now is because Blogger makes it so fucking easy. They give you metrics on who, what, where your audience is coming from; And every day they are making more in depth tools to give you more and more information about your readers. I'm still interested in all of you. Those of you who pop in to read me, or are reading me on another blog somewhere in the Blogosphere. I'm wondering who you are. I mean, I know a few of you. Very few, but the majority of you are lost to me.

Okay. So I'm looking at my stats alot. Like I said, it's just fucking inte- resting. Now, for the counters. Well, the one on the top, that is in glowing green, the one saying 'How many iz u?" Is a single hit counter. You're probably wondering, if I'm getting so many hits, why isn't that motherfucker spinning off the blog.Well, this one counts 'unique hits'. Basically, if you hit my blog once, it counts you. If you hit it again and again, it doesn't. So  this is the mean number of readers that I have hitting my blog. Right now, over 50,000 individual computers, all around the world who have come to read me at least once.

Then you have the second counter. This is my 30 day hits. It's just a window from today to 30 days ago, how many people have hit the blog. That means, how many "unique hits" repeat. Meaning, you can come today and hit me, and then come back five minutes later and then later and later, and it will count you each time. Lets just say, you, your daughter, your son, and your mother sneak into the den and hit me on the very same computer, this counter will count the four of you. Or, if you just like to leave and come back to my blog every five minutes, it's counting you too. I think that's the limit though. I could be wrong about this, but if you come back within five minutes you are not counted.

So, I can see that over 50,000 people hitting me at different times a week, a month, whatever, spool into my 30 day counter. Which, strangely dips and rises as to the amount of posts I upload. When I post nothing, it falls, but when I mad post, it rises. Both counters. And like I said, it's amazing how things play out when you can see them on a diagram. Such as, today, between the hours of 1:00am to 9:00am, my blog was hit 42 times. Some early morning readers if they were here on the Right Coast.

Another thing, MR BILL's blog, linked to up at the right there, 'The Essential Mr. Bill' brought me my second largest number of readers so far today! He has some early morning readers no doubt that have found me through him. THANK YOU Mr. Bill. I hope I'm doing the same thing for you. People need to read your stuff too! And, as usual, This American Life, right out if front with a strong lead this morning. 6 to Mr. Bill's 5! But that's still very early this morning. Like a horse race, these positions can change in minutes. That's another neat thing about Blogger's stats. Up to the minute reporting. If there is a change, a hit, it's counted, disseminated and reported on your stats page within a minute. Wow.

Okay, am I getting a bit obsessive about my readers now? I mean, you've heard me say that I don't care who or what my readers are because I write to please myself. Yes, I do. I was talking about content there. Not numbers. I'm getting a little interested in the numbers though. It's not that I care if they go up or not, I'm just fascinated to see them go up and down, and knowing where they are coming from. It's like I'm looking through the looking glass. I see the White Rabbit, the Queen of Hearts, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, Alice and the Cheshire Cat all running around and I stare at them wide eyed. Amazing.

Now, the "Popular Post this Week". Why doesn't it change. I dunno. I think I configured it right. It's supposed to display the most hit post this week. Hold on, let me check it against the other metrics.... Well, yep. It's still in first place, with 51 pageviews this week. Now that's just starting today, so we'll see how this horse race turns out on Sunday. Maybe we'll have a new winner, but I don't think so. There are a lot of people out there that really love the 'Assfinger'. So all of you girls out there that thought that their boyfriends were freaks because he constantly wanted to put things up your ass, there's your sign.

Well, that's me answering one of my readers again. Please feel free to send me any of your comments or fierce condemn- ations to hobobob@rocketmail.com. I don't read it often, but I do get around to it from time to time and pull out the gems of your writing to me. And if you know me, just ask. If I feel that your question could help others, I'll post it. Like I told you, I'm not original, I just post what I see and hear. Oh yeah, and that email address is for real. I may not reply to you directly, or at all, but I will post you when I get the chance.

Take care,
Hobobob