Money Back Without a Purchase

I am indeed a Fortunate Son.

Things go really bad for me sometimes, and I can take it on the chin. But when I'm in a depression, I am fucked up really bad. For no apparent reason. I may have one, but it's going to take some medical help to bring it to the fore. Until then I have to just hope for happiness in the future. It's at times like this that I am suddenly made aware of the fact that I'm a Fortunate Son. If I just look at my surroundings I can really be appreciative of where I came from and where I could go. I'm a million percent better than I was three years ago and a billion percent better than four. I'm doing great. It's just that when the dark hood of depression looms in, it's just meaningless. I don't see anything worthwhile to live for. It's truly like wearing black shades over your eyes.

Being bi-polar sucks. I'm either manic or depressed. Not much in between. I can live in both worlds though, quite easily. I mean, I have to, right? However, wouldn't it be great to be just normal and not...well not me? The Fortunate Son. I split out the room this afternoon. I had a lot to do. Prescriptions and what not.

On my way out I see Dr. G. and we talk about my drugs. I'm low on Welbutrin, the anti- depres- sant. She wants to drop the dosage. Wow, how will that work. No more depression? I like that idea. I'd rather be hyper than depressed any day. The other just isn't any fucking fun.

She writes me out a new prescrip- tion for a lower dose. I take it and walk up the street to Duane Reade to drop it off. Then up to Radio Shack to get a new ink cartridge for my printer. As I'm walking a man comes right at me. I stop, focus and it's Ivan. He stops me cold in the middle of the block. "Hey Hobobob, thank you so much for putting only two of us on the router. Now I can stream movies better because the guy next to me kept using firewire, and now he's off the bandwith."

"Well you're welcome, Ivan. any time," besides he and I are the custodians of the connection. Why share it with people that don't even look around and say: Where's all this FREE Internet coming from?" In fact though, they know. I put a sign downstairs on the bulletin board when I ran out of money one month and wanted to let others share in getting the Internet back up in the building. Can you believe that once they found out it was me they claimed to have their own Internet connections. So basically all the crows on the floor were claiming that they never use the Internet connection that I supply so donating was not necessary. Even the letter on the bulletin board downstairs was removed. These stupid bitches.

What these lying tarts don't realize is that this is the computer age. I just went to the router, brought up the DHCP table and it told me the computer name and MAC address of every system attached to my wireless frequency. And there those blood sucking bitches were. Every last fucking one of them. Plus seven more! Thirteen of those sons-a-bitches, and have the temerity to tell me that they don't use my Internet. Ooooookay.

The miracle that saved them for several more months was Ivan. He came upstairs, because he serioiusly needs the Internet in his room and paid the entire bill straight out, giving ME a month of free Internet. Call me a Fortunate Son! So since I got the Internet for free, I piped it to all of those lying ingrates out of the goodness of my heart.

Then I heard them one day asking the other how do you fix email, because she could not get on the Internet to check it. I had already, by this time, cut the users able to connect to my router in half. This meant that there will now be waiting time if you are not one of the first few that can connect. And because some people like to stay on all day, like Moi, you can end up waiting all day. But now Ivan had asked me to cut the rest down and he would always be around to help me, financial or otherwise in keeping it up.

I felt that this was a fair request, so I did it. Now the lying freeloaders had NO access to the router. None what so ever. Just the other day I heard one of the crows, Bat Faced Bitch, complain to Snow White that the Internet is harder and harder to get on and that she was going to get her own now. Snow White pointed out how this was bad news no doubt, but The Spot didn't supply the Internet at all. Tough break Bat Faced BIII-HATCH!!! I laugh at you now!

I didn't want to stick my head into the office and tell Snow, "Fuck this crusty assed bitch. She knows damn well who and why she isn't getting the Internet for free any more. Her freeloading ass deserves to have to pay for it now. Cough up the $50.00 that you used to use to have men spit at you. Piss enough in your reservoir baby, and pretty soon you'll be drinking pee. Or as my friend's mother used to put it: "Play pussy, get fucked.

So, to cut this story short so as to move on. Ivan thanked me and was gone. So I went to Radio Shack and got my printer ink and stepped out of the store, and Ivan was standing there waiting for me. "What are you doing, Ivan? Following me?" "Naah," he said. "I'm going to walk with you home." I raise an eyebrow. "Ooookay," I said, heading back uptown. "What's the matter?"

Ivan shook his head, "Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to ask you, do you have computer speakers?" I nod, "Yes I do, Ivan, why?"
"Because I have a speaker system that I'm not going to use."
"Oh wow I already have one for my computer." I had paid a good dollar for it too. Thirty Nine dollars in fact, and I was proud of my little speakers.
"Well, I want you to take mine. It has five speakers and then a woofer!"
What the Hell kind of monster sound system did Ivan buy? "What's wrong with it, Ivan?"
He shook his head, "Nothing. It's just too many wires and my room is too small."
"My room is the same size as your room."
"Yeah, but you use your laptop like a desktop. I use mine on my bed, so it's uncomfortable with all of these wires going all around."
"Oh really. Okay, so how much?"
He frowned. "Why do you think I'm selling it to you?"
"I don't know. I just thought you were."

No, Ivan was giving it to me. I was stunned. We went upstairs and he burdened me with Four Speakers, a midrange, AND a woofer/Subwoofer and amp. "How the fuck much was this, Ivan?" He thought about it for a half minute, "around a hundred and fifty dollars. Something like that. "Shit Ivan, I don't know what to say."
He piled the stuff into my arms "Here, just take it." Thanks.

I lugged all that hardware upstairs and wired it up to my computer. When I plugged it in and hooked it up, it was amazing. Quad Stereo sound so life like that it sounds like the shit's in the room with you. I guess I was a good boy this year, because I got a Christmas present for a change. HO, HO, HO to you too Santa!

Like I said, I am a Fortunate Son. However, there was one thing that was a problem. A certain speaker wire was missing to bring the Quad signal to the Stereo input of the computer. So I got four of the six speakers functioning and left for Radio Shack to see if I can find the parts in question. After going through the shelves and hooks on the wall of their audio cabling section a woman walks by. I call out to her. She stops, holds up her hand, "Hold on, I'll get someone here who can help you." That's good, for a minute there I thought you could do it since you're wearing a Radio Shack name pin.

So I wait until a salesman comes and goes over the same hardware that I looked over. He pulls out a two prong Y connector. I need a THREE prong forked connector. "Sorry, that's been discontinued." That's great, thank you. "You know, you can go down to 86th street. There's a P.C. Richards down there and they have system cabling. I nod. Hey thank you. So I start my walk downtown, minding my own fucking business and oblivious to the world around me. Never do that shit in New York my friends because a cop will come from down the street and hand your head to you saying that they took it off some thief up the block running down the street. It was easy locating you. All they had to do was to look for an idiot walking through the city with NO FUCKING HEAD!

I'm walking down the block and ahead of me are these two little upper class girls, talking all valley-girl-ish, although that shit went out in California when I was FUCKING THEM. They are loud, stupid and self centered. At first I didn't hear or notice them because they were yakking like wind up teeth. I thought some one was firing off a jack hammer somewhere. When I happened to notice the two of them walking ahead of me, I was already too late, the one on the left turned her head around, like Linda Blair in the Exorcist and looked at me up and down. Then she turned her head back around, whispering to her friend. Now I know that I broke my 'don't follow some bitch two blocks' rule'. In fact, these little bitchettes only allowed me a block before noticing me. Probably a shrunken perspective because of their ages.

So after a block bitchette number one turns around then whispers to Bitchette number two who does the same Linda Blair bullshit, looking me up and down before returning to walking with her friend. They whisper for a moment and then break out in a brisk walk down the block in double time. I stop, too late. I'm slow on the uptake. They are half way down the block when they both do a Linda Blair, while I hoof it the other way, feeling guilty because now they'll suppose that I'm some sort of child molester. If there is a cop down on the end of the block they will no doubt report me for being such.

Well I head for P.C. Richards, right across the street from where I stopped. So if the cops come looking for me, they had better do so fast before I vanish off the streets. Once inside of P.C. Richards I ask around and they too don't have what I need. I am pissed and return to Radio Shack. I have an idea. TWO Y connectors, attached to each other could step three connectors down to one. So I go back and buy two Y connectors, get home and fiddle with them until I get all Six speakers blasting. Ahhh, the joy!

Well, with that being said, once everything was together it was after 9:00 pm. Which meant that I had to put my stupid headsets on. Well, I'll just have to wait for another day to enjoy the sound system.  I'm a very patient Fortunate Son.

Happy New Year
Hobobob