The Conjurer Makes a Cup of Tea

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4th of July.

I’m usually running around, downtown, trying to get the best position on the elevated section of the FDR Drive, to watch the fireworks; But that was when I was homeless and had to deal with the press of humankind, which bent my screws in the first place. People,  people in, people out, people around, people under, people over...people, people, people. That’s why I want to stay away from people, away from other humans breathing the same air, looking at the same things, touching the same stuff.

Everyone is watching the fireworks on television, because they too are tired of the press of humanity. Then you have people too far to travel to see the Macy’s 4th of July fireworks, so they are blasting shit off in their back yards. They’ve gone over to the corner store or corner fuck-offs and bought tons of plastic explosives, gunpowder, G-4 rockets and frag grenades and skip off home to light them shits up. The funny thing: suddenly states that would not allow people to blow off their hands and faces last year will be allowing them to do so this year.

Yes, they are legalizing fireworks on the 4th. Suddenly legislators reviewed the issue, talked to medical expects, checked the growing statistical records and came to the conclusion that they are going broke and will whore out any law to pay their exorbitant salaries. Yeah, because they are running in the red, they’ve legalized fireworks. Which means, yesterday they felt that Americans were incapable of lighting tons of explosives. Today, they have no problem with children igniting in flames or fathers blowing their heads off staring down the wrong end of a bottle rocket.

This is good news though. Believe it or not. Not that social Darwinism won’t remove hundreds of idiots off the planet when they fuck with these things. That is a good thing. Motherfuckers too stupid to pass the SAT blowing off their fingers, teeth, eyes and skull caps trying to light fireworks while drinking and smoking dope. Nothing wrong with drinking and smoking dope, but doing so and handling dangerous substances like blasting caps and you’ve got big trouble for people who are idiots.

But the real good news though is that our state legislatures are lowering themselves to more realistic levels of whoredom. Now they are beginning to look like the sellouts that many of them are. Soon, the cost of paying their salaries will become so high and taxing to the American public that it'll become political suicide, and then they’ll start legalizing the good shit. Just think of it. First, shit that doesn’t kill us by fucking with it, like prostitution. Not the dangerous street corner shit that we have suffered with for years because of it being illegal, and therefore rife with diseases, but instead government legislated and controlled prostitution like in Nevada, with clean, safe, state certified prostitutes. Then the state can tax fucking someone legally for cash and make a mint.

In this way the legislators can collect cold hard cash hand over fist and put 95% of it into their deep pockets and give 5% to the state for government services that they say are being abused by Americans. But the fun does not stop there pals. The money strapped legislators can take it a step farther. Next, legalize marijuana. That would be a neat cross from illegal to legal and the fun part is that you can’t blow your face off lighting a joint. With the state allowing cigarette companies to package marijuana, the state can mark them up to insane amounts. Then after the crazy assed markup, they can then tax them out of this world. There is an amazing amount of money to be made for their 95/5% dispensation.

We can go further, like cocaine. Same thing as marijuana. We can laugh at the things that the state governments can legalize after they have bullshitted us for centuries when the dollar was everywhere and they weren’t giving themselves raises on a regular basis. This is the best thing that that has ever happened to the people. Greed has the wheels of government turning again, and they are hungry for more money. This is a way to squeeze more from the people while making them happy. Such a nice thing, no?

So we have people now  ready to kill themselves on the 4th with shining eyes and drunken grins. While they lose body parts to flaming fireworks or light themselves and run up and down the blocks on fire, looking like Johnny storm, going ‘flame on’! I might light my joint up on their burning remains, and drink their booze, and watch as their bodies fall onto a stack of fireworks and then sit back, enjoying the skies turning into bright lights and sparkling flame as fire shoots out of their orifices.

And in my mind, dreaming of a freer world, where we can start our own fireworks, killing ourselves, fuck a hot, clean whore while out with the boys, using our credit cards or a charge account, and smoke a joint and sniff some coke without worrying about overtaxing our police forces in the constant fight against drugs that they can’t win.

What a wonderful world.

Hobobob