The Great and Fear Inspiring Oz

Friday night. What to do.

I worked on finding a book publisher. I've done that, and the good news: this one takes submissions electronically. Which means I don't have to pay enormous amounts of money for printing. All I need now is  to learn how to craft a good book proposal. I've already got my query letter. I get back online and surf to the New York Public Library and order two books on the subject. They'll be here in a few days.

Now what to do. I fucking can't stand still. I'm not going to blog anymore for a while (I really don't think that's even possible) because I'm about TWO weeks ahead of my posting schedule, which is about one a day. I can bring it up to three a day, but that shit will wear my regular readers the fuck out! Once a day is enough. So how can I stem this backlog? Oh, I know. Work on my screenplay.

But that is rapidly coming to a close too. I have to slow down to enrich the plot. Think too fast...it's hard to get your head in the game. If your head is not in the game, your characters turn out somewhat slim. So, I need a break from that too. Another lonely assed Friday night. Well, I would watch television but I just can't sit still long enough to finish a show. I even tried to watch porn, but I couldn't sit still enough to even work up the desire to jerk off. I sat behind my computer again, depressed. I have already cleaned the room, hand washed the floor, washed dishes. I'm going nuts!!!!

Then, my eye strays upon a simple Icon on the desktop of my computer. mIRC. oh oh. Friday night? I look at the clock. Ten PM. I wonder who's on at Ten PM on a Friday night? People with no lives...JUST LIKE ME!!! I hurriedly hit the connect button and the vast and awe inspiring universe called INTERNET RELAY CHAT opens up. I follow it down, past thousands of galaxies to find mine, the majestic UNDERNET. Here I search the solar systems, nebulae, asteroids to find my favorite solar systems. I choose one tonight. #40+Jukebox.

I pop in to find a moderately packed crowd. Many names I don't know. Many names are unfamiliar, and then I see her. SNOW_PUPPY. "Hey! Cuppagee! She remembers me. It's been a long time since I've seen her...two years and she still remembers me. "How have you been!" Great SNO. That's what I call her. Then there is a tap on my shoulder. It's MARYDREAMS. "Welcome back Cuppagee!" Wow, you guys remember me. "We talk about you all the time Cup!" Says Sno. "Here I want you to meet a girlfriend of mine. MYZALI!" SNO calls to her. "Myz, say hello to Cuppagee!" She greets me. "I've heard a lot about you." She says. What from these two bad women? Don't believe 'em!

"Cup, are you listening to my radio station?" Sno asks. Nope. Are you on  now? "Yeah, tune in!" She sends me the link over IRC. When I click on it, my web browser appears and an Internet radio site opens up. It asks which media player I use. I click on Windows Media. The station music comes streaming out at me. All of the dance hits of the 80's. Wow! Are you on Sno? I ask her. She doesn't reply. Then the song ends, and Sno's sultry voice pops up. "Cuppagee want's to know if I'm the dee jay for tonight. Well, here I am Cup. From now to two in the morning. Send me your request...and call me on skype, stranger."

Ha ha ha. I don't bother with the Skype though. I'm broke enough. Mary asks what I've been up to. A tell her a slow motion decent into Hell. They crack up. They have no idea. They just think that I'm some wise cracking comedian. Like I said. Many don't know me as Hobobob on IRC but rather as Cuppagee. We start bullshitting and dancing and hugging each other. I meet others, like FONTS, SPOINK and a pack of others. Fonts and I talk about Christopher Walken and the Saturday Night Live skit where he keeps demanding a cowbell in the Blue Oyster Cult's song, "Don't Fear the Reaper" We crack up. He sends me pictures of him from Washington state banging on a real cowbell. Sno plays the song. Mary is chatting it up. Myz has Sno play her Skype calls in for requests where she can't even speak, she is laughing so hard.

We all crack up. It's the funniest recording on Earth. Two women trying to speak to each other but laughing so hard they can only gasp words. It was a panic. Mary and Sno remind me that they live in New York, but I don't say anything about my social anxiety getting worse. But who knows? I'm going to get some more-better drugs from my doctor, but until then I tell them that we've got to hook up but I'm ambiguous as to when. I go out for Cheez Doodles because I found some change in my pockets while folding laundry for cleaning. Everyone tells me to hurry back.

I get back, bullshit. Fonts and Spoink leave. Mary says she's tired. I hang out with SUNNY81 who arrived a few minutes later, Sno and Myz. Sunny asks me if I'm an undercover cop. I ask her is she asking me if I'm laying in bed now? Everyone cracks up. Two hours race by. It's 1:30 in the morning. Sno will be off the air soon, and although I knew all of the women in the channel by now, I didn't know them as well as I did Sno and Mary. I wanted to leave before both of them did, so I bid them all farewell and rose from the insane UNDERNET and back to my little chair, before my little desk, in my little room, in the dark of the morning.

Funny. I am not alone...am I?

Hobobob