Of Dropped Pings and Dingalings

I wake to the sound of the fucking door buzzer again.

Some kind of garbled response comes from the speaker. I don't move to answer it. I've long come to realize that the only people who can activate the stupid thing is security downstairs. No one can come in by ringing the bell. So what did I care about security? They were probably letting people know that there was some function going on downstairs. I don't like arbitrary groups, so I stay where I am.

I stay in bed for a moment, thinking about going back to sleep when I noticed that NET- STUMBLER was no longing pinging out a lovely tune. I jump up and check out my screen. The software was on full scan, sweeping the room vigorously but the status kept reading NO AP's ACTIVE. AP meaning Access Points or channels that the signals ride upon. But the problem wasn't that @home was down, which would have been logical, but that they were ALL down. It's like having sixteen dancing, naked women hopping up and down in your room, and you take a nap, and awake to find them all gone. I mean, I know that I have that kind of luck, but DAMN. Not one stray signal passed through my silent tomb.

Interference. But it had to be the mother of all interference to knock down sixteen signals. I instantly looked at my microwave. These things are notorious for fucking with communications. It just hung there from my cabinet, it's digital face saying: "Not Me Boss," with an obscene yawn. Well, if it wasn't my microwave, then it had to be something outside. I look out my window, which opens into a back alley, a narrow passage for a signal to make its way though. I guess that I'm just fucking lucky to have a signal at all.

Something out there, something that someone likes to turn on, like a microwave, cordless phone, or ham radio, was making my life miserable. These things wreak havoc with WIFI signals. Someone in that fucking alleyway, had something on that put the kibosh on my surfing. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!! Let's say I spent that $79.00 for that WIFI antenna...that bitch would be having the same problem! There is absolutely no signal to amplify. That would have been good money down the drain. What I needed now was a GPS adapter for my laptop, which would allow NETSTUMBLER to pinpoint where and how far the interference was, go there and when I find the character with the offending device, AIR HIS ASS OUT! Fill'em full'a lead.

I sit down like Jabba the Hut and eat snacks.

I drink 800ml of water to fill myself up. Now that's a lot of water; close to five cups. That keeps me from stuffing my face, but I'll pay for it the minute that I take my evening water pill. I check the NETSTUMBLER, and it's still stumbling. The signals are down like a clown. Depressing to say the least, to have had such a lively afternoon of nothing but pings from signals bouncing around in my room, to abject silence. Nothing. As if someone landed a large glass, upside down, over my apartment like a dome. I am shut down solid. Deaf to the world outside.

I turn everything off and grab my book, The Night of the Gun, stretch out across my bed and read. I read until my eyelids grow heavy and my head bobs and my lights go out.

Hobobob