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No blowjob for Hobobob!
Remember I told you that having high speed Internet was like having a blowjob every day? Well, guess what? My Internet went down again in less than a day. Yep. Down to the ground. What kind of bullshit is this? Once again there is no real explanation for the occurrence, it just happens. So if having high speed Internet is like a blowjob every day, what is having NO Internet? Having your dick cut off?
This is very annoying to tell you the truth. I'm watching online movies and they will just stop, or I'm listening to music, or writing emails or whatever. I'M USING THE FUCKING INTERNET, and the thing goes down. Who the fuck is playing around with me. Let's look at the inventory. I was told to swap out the modem. Did that, same shit, different day. I was told to wait for a technician. Did that, same shit, different day. The technician says to me that he can't troubleshoot what is not occurring. Fine.
Now this bitch starts acting up today. Going down, slowing down, going down, then staying down. I can't get behind that! I call up, furious and the motherfucker on the other end of the line starts with the same shit. Cycle the modem, swap the modem, call for a technician. Look, the problem is not HERE with my hardware buddy, its with YOURS! Obviously we've solved all of the issues on this end and now the fucker is down again. BOUNCE YOUR ROUTER PORT! "Oh we can't do that." No, you mean YOU can't do that. Network technicians on your end can bounce a router port faster than your mom can inhale cock. DO IT!
"Oh we can't do that." Such bullshit. "But we can schedule you for a visit next week...." What the fuck good is that going to do if this shit resolves itself and this guy comes here and can't find a fault, so he can't fix it. That's what the last repairman said to me. "Well, we can schedule it and see if it goes down by then." So you mean I have to go the entire week without the Internet? Asshat doesn't respond to the logic. That's enough. I want credit for this shitty service that I am getting. "Okay Mr. Hobobob. Let me work on this for you." He does. How much credit do you think this bitch gives me? $13.00. And if I make the appointment that he is setting up next week I can get even more credit.
Yeah, I'm going to credit them out of their collective assholes until they take a more serious stand and cure this ghost in the machine. I think I know what to do though. I'm trying it now, since I've got to go without the Internet for the next several days. In my mind's eye, I see the router in the cloud...that's the router in the cablevision building, connected to mine through their cable system, as speaking with my modem. There must be some noise or something on the line. Something causes the connection to scramble and they stop having a meaningful conversation between each other. Stupid is talking to stupid. This foolish conversation goes on and on until something either jars them back or they tire out.
I'm thinking that if I disconnect the cable between the router and the modem, the router at Cablevision will lose the conversation between itself and the modem. It will cease trying to restart the modem, and change the port characteristics to that of LISTENING for a new modem. Thus, I am the one bouncing their modem port, as if I was a network engineer on their network. Something that Asshat can't seem to do. So I disconnect the modem and wait for twenty minutes for the router to stop trying to talk to the modem and switch over to wait for the modem. I do this, hoping that it will work, and guess what?
It doesn't.
Funny, misfortune finds it way to me all of the time. I do nothing to encourage it and yet it finds me sooner or later, and something inexplicable and strange always gets in my way of happiness. Go figure. Does any of this make sense to you?
Doesn't to me either. So I say, fuck it then.
Hobobob
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