Increase Your (fill in the blank) and buy Canadian (blank)!!

I've decided that there's not much that's more irritating than Spam.

No, not the kind in a can that you can put on bread or fry in a pan and eat. The OTHER kind of Spam.

Y'know, I don't need Viagra. Thankfully, no one in my household does either. Or Cialis. (What's up with the commercial with the couple in SEPERATE tubs? Isn't the whole point to be together???) Nor do I need Oxycontin or Hydrocodone. Yet so many people want to sell it to me.

Most of them are Canadian. What's up with that? Seriously, have you ever known a Canadian drug pusher? I'm sorry, but the image just won't form for me. I'd have a hard time taking the guy or gal seriously, I think, if they said, "Hey, I'm from Canada. Wanna buy some weed, eh?"

Snork. Oh, the visual....

I've decided these folks are lying about being from Canada. (You're snickering, right?) I know a lot of Canadians and they just aren't that kind of people. Grins. Seriously....

Just like those guys in Mozambique and Cote d'Ivoire are lying about wanting to send me money just because they found my website interesting and think I deserve eight bajillion dollars. I did get one offering me money, camels and guns. (I sent that one on to the proper authorities...)

And that woman, the one who's dying of cancer and wants me to use her millions for the "...goods of the childrens of the Lords..." is a whackjob, for sure. Who pluralizes childrens? Or goods? (Much less Lords!?!)

Yet, I get so many of these scammy-spammy emails, they MUST be working on someone, somewhere. I can't imagine why anyone would still be SENDING them if they weren't. But how are they making money? Identity theft, I guess, or fees.

I did love the plummy sounding one from a barrister in England, however. It sounded like something right out of a early '80's historical. Lord-So-and-So had discovered that I was his long-lost kinswoman (yes, it actually said that word, kinswoman) and this barrister was writing to tell me, by email, that he would be happy to transfer the estate and all these millions of pounds to me for a small processing fee. Millions, for a mere $350. Oh, and a dead kinsman's estate, complete with a lovely manor house.

I could almost go for that one, you know?

Millions.

A manor house. A roaring fire in a fireplace big enough to roast an ox...yep. I could go for that.

So what's your favorite SPAM request? The millions from a Nigerian government official? Something newer?

Have you ever been tempted, the least little bit, by the manor house one?

And does it make you laugh when you get Canadian Pharmacy emails?

What about the ones that offer to enlarge certain parts? Snork. Since I don't HAVE those parts I'm not the least bit tempted by that one. Funny thing that....snork, snork, snork.

Let's talk...SPAM! Grins.

(Oh, and do you like the "real" stuff? The real Spam - ham goop in a can? And have you ever been to Canada?