Rescue All of the Sacred Items

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I just got fucking tired.

I really did. I haven't had the taste of fried chicken in fucking ages. I was almost forgetting how the shits tasted, but going to see my parents several months ago, that's all my mother cooked. Fried foods, and of course fried chicken would be one of the foods she would choose to cook. So I got the taste for it back today.

After going on my walk I stopped at the nearest Walgreens, went downstairs to their appliance center, and found a deep fry cooker. A nice one too by Sylvania. Then I head over to the supermarket and get a tray full of chicken thighs. I'm going to play with my toy for the rest of the night.

I read the fucking manual before doing anything. This is something that I've learned over the years on this planet. I save myself a lot of aggravation by just reading these little pamphlets that come with the appliance from cover to cover, even if I THINK I know how to work the damn thing. What I don't do this with is software apps. Those fucking manuals can be as big as encyclopedias. I just jump right in on them.

But not my Sylvania cool touch. I read the manual thoroughly and then started pouring oil into my deep fryer well, set up my first three pieces of chicken and let 'er rip. It took almost a half an hour to cook, but I got it together in no time. It was crispy, just the way that I like it. I like my chicken cooked the fuck up. I like holy chicken. Do you know how you make holy chicken? You fry the Hell out of it.

I chomp them down as soon as they come out. They last me all day. I want to cook some more, but instead, I clean up. I want to know how hard it is to clean everything afterwards, and guess what? It's not too bad. Now I'm going to cook my favorite meals. I'm going out next to buy french fries, sweet potatoes, and fish. Those deep fry fish. Yeah, I like those too.

Now, the thought that fried foods are bad for you, your arteries and fattening. This may be true, but living the last three years basically, without fried foods, haven't done anything for my waistline. But then again, with my exercise habits, which breathing just about covers it, weight gain is inevitable. There's no two ways around it for me, unless I start on my regimen again that I had last summer, which, I might add, was pretty grueling.

But now, with fried foods added to my diet, things will be much different. More calories that make for more weight gain and a bigger Hobobob. Am I concerned though. No. Not at all. I'm such a fucking procrastinator, I'll fucking panic tomorrow. However there is one thing that I'm happy that I didn't procrastinate over. I smile from ear to ear...it's this fucking deep fryer.

I'm going to have fun, until I tire of fried foods, and then I'll start eating responsibly again. Because I want to live to a ripe old age, and the truth is, you can't do that with all that cholesterol floating around in your bloodstream. Even if the grease is filled with Omega-3. But then again, do I want to look forward to dotage?

Life is not all that its' cracked up to be in the first place. If you ask me, except for chicken.

Hobobob