Disorders R Fun

Not everyone who has bipolar disorder (manic depression) experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. The severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time. The top 10 signs of mania, one part of bipolar disorder, are:

* Abnormal or excessive elation
* Unusual irritability
* Decreased need for sleep
* Grandiose notions
* Increased talking
* Racing thoughts
* Increased sexual desire
* Markedly increased energy
* Poor judgment
* Inappropriate social behavior

* Talking too fast or too much
* Risky or impulsive behavior, like sexual promiscuity or excessive spending sprees
* Needing little sleep
* Being easily distracted (your attention shifts between many topics in just a few minutes)
* Having an inflated feeling of power, greatness, or importance
* Intense focus on goal-directed activity
* Racing thoughts

A diagnosis for a major depressive episode requires having a depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure in activities a person used to enjoy. In addition, four of the following symptoms must also be present nearly every day for at least two weeks:

* Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (i.e., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite
* Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) nearly every day
* Feeling restless or sluggish to the point that others notice
* Fatigue or loss of energy
* Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
* Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness
* Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal thoughts without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

Awwww C'mon!!!

I've got to be all these??? Shit I bet everyone has all of these. I take pills for this shit. What the Fuck!!! What the fuck good is ABILIFY if it isn't helping me with this shit. Don't make me have to go back to self medicating. This is some bullshit. I get BOTH IN and HYPERsomnia. How is that supposed to work?? And recurrent thoughts of death...that's a daily thing for some of us. Is that the fuckin' cloud that has been following me? I sit down and stew over the fact that I've tried to self diagnose myself once more and find that I'm pissing myself off in the process. There is no need for all of this mindless introspection. I'm dealing with my issues even in the face of these hobbling symptoms. What would the world be without people with much of the symptoms mentioned above? How many of us are manic depressive?

IMpulsive behavior, like sexual promis- cuity?? What? Am I supposed to feel guilty for the little sex that I do get??? Having a feeling of power, greatness, or importance? Does that mean that I can't feel good about myself? What the fuck??

Looking at this shit makes me realize just how much I need all of my pills. Every once in awhile I look up my symptoms just to reassure myself of what life was without them.

Fuck it. What do I do this Sunday? Being bored to tears, I shave my pubic area. Yeah, I take a razor and shave the shit out of the area between my legs. Damn near cutting off my cock and balls. I shave the shit out of it, making a baby smooth area. Why the fuck do I do this?

Well, years ago, when my appendix almost burst, I was 'prepped' by a nurse who basically shaved the area and explained something interesting to me. The pubic area, and it's hairs are jam packed with disease carrying bacteria. Not to say that YOUR area is packed, but YOUR area CAN be packed with disease carrying bacteria, depending on the bacteria of your choice, not to mention vermin, such as lice. So, when I was promiscuous I kept it baby smooth so as to reduce the chances of bringing home anything other than the women that I brought home. You have to think about things more than an STD my friends.

It became a practice in cleanliness for me, a once a month thing to keep life simple and to make a shower last longer than usual. Also, with the homeless ordeal, it made only good sense to keep lice at bay. The only problem is the growing back in period, IF you are not used to it, can drive you crazy as a loon as the sharp hairs reappear between your legs, making you scratch as if you DID have a bad case of lice. It is hellified itching if...like I said...you're not used to it. I, fortunately, am.

But on this occasion, the razor cuts too deep and takes a chunk out of my scrotum. Ladies, that's the sac around the balls. It cuts low, so that I can't see it, but with a paper towel, I can see the blood. Like any annoying, minor wound, it bleeds rich and copious. So here I am, flapping about my room like a fish out of water, staining everything with red gore. So much so that it pisses me off and sends me to the cabinet for alcohol. I wet down another paper towel, but common sense tells me do to otherwise than my angry intention and I wipe down the areas stained with blood around my room instead. Soon, with hot water and direct pressure, I get the bleeding under control. Fuck. The things us manic depressives do for fun.

I get behind my computer and start surfing. Surfing until my eyes cross. Hypersomnia sets in and it puts me under. Me, my shaved pubis, my wounded scrotum, and manic behavior, find peace in a further day's sleep.

Hobobob