Pinhole Press vacation book

My darlings, we love taking vacation photos (who doesn't?) but then we never really look at them again. They're just stuck on our computers. So! We decided to make a Pinhole Press photo book with our England vacation snapshots, and I love love love the way it turned out. The paper is really soft, the photos look gorgeous, and it's amazing to have a little book of our vacation. Alex and I have read through it like fifty times. :) Here are a few of the pages...
Anyway, it was easy to make and it's so wonderful to have; now I'm dying to make litte photo books for all our vacations and events, including every Christmas break and our wedding and honeymoon. Thought I'd share! xoxo
P.S. Inspired, I also made some thank-you notes to have on hand at home, using a photo Amy Merrick emailed me of her flowers. :)

Motherhood Mondays: On boobs. :)

My darlings, this may be a little intimate, but let's talk about breasts! After the jump, of course...

I've always been a pretty modest person (in high school gym class, I was one of the girls who would change in the bathroom) but now that I've had a baby, I'm much more open about certain body parts: namely, breasts. They just seem so functional and quotidian to me now. So, if you're game, I'd love to chat about all things breasty.

Seven things that surprised me about breastfeeding:

1. Breastfeeding burns a whopping 500 calories per day! Yowza! I was really surprised to hear that. Even if you sit perfectly still all day, you burn as many calories as if you'd run five miles. Needless to say, you get hungry like the wolf. I remember drinking an average of four glasses of whole milk every day, and once, I ate an entire tuna pasta salad in the middle of the night. The next morning, my mom, who was visiting, was like, "Where's the pasta salad?" I was like....In. My. Belly.

2. You get overwhelmingly thirsty. As soon as I'd start nursing Toby, I'd get hit with a wave of thirst like a Mack truck. All I would be able to think was, "Water, water, water...." until I was glugging down a huge glass. Alex actually bought me a giant water bottle, and honestly it was one of my favorite gifts I've ever gotten.

3. You can squirt milk across the room. (Is that TMI?) Before having a baby, I imagined that a nipple would function like a single straw, but actually they're more like this kitchen faucet. Milk sprays out a bunch of teeny holes, and, if you squeeze your breast, you can spray milk right across the room! It would be an awesome party trick if it were the least bit socially acceptable.

4. Nursing bras can be sexy. I dragged my feet when shopping for a nursing bra because I figured I'd be stuck wearing a hideous functional number for the next twelve months. But! I was thrilled to discover Elle MacPherson nursing bras. They're soft and pretty, and I love how the black lace peeks out from beneath tank tops and cardigans.

5. Babies are completely over-the-moon about milk. It's so, so, so adorable how much babies love milk. Toby would get so excited before feeding; he'd root around trying to find the boob. He'd frantically move his tiny head around, like, where is it, where is it...he'd find his fist and suck like crazy...and then be like, oh, wait, that's not it....where is it....YES, here it is!!!! And his eyes would basically roll back in his head, he was so happy. He would sometimes even hum when he drank! (And then he'd get his drunken sailor face:)

6. You can literally feel drained afterward. Sometimes I'd stumble out of the nursery after giving Toby his bedtime feed, and tell Alex, laughing, "I feel like the energy was just truly sucked out of me." It can be exhausting. I mean, you're fattening up a baby. Of course, it can be really wonderful, cozy and profound at the same time.

7. You get big boobs! Kind of embarrassing but one of my favorite parts of pregnancy/nursing was finally experiencing big boobs. I've always been a flat-chested girl (I even wore those chicken cutlets at my wedding), and I've long been curious about what it would be like to have big breasts even just for one day. Well, when I was pregnant, my breasts kept growing, and when Toby was born and I started nursing, they felt HUGE (at least to me). It was a thrill to have big boobs, including cleavage, for the first time ever! (Here are my small boobs; here are my big boobs:) Of course, now that Toby has stopped nursing, my boobs have shrunk down to their pre-baby size. But I'll never forget my one glorious well-endowed year.
Toby eating lunch in our hospital room when he was one day old.

Finally, the breastfeeding book I swear by: A few of my best friends found breastfeeding very difficult at first (one even said it was harder than labor, ouch!). I felt hugely grateful to have a relatively easy time with nursing, and, along with biology and luck, I credit The Nursing Mother's Companion for helping make breastfeeding easier. With a straightforward, reassuring tone, the book shows you how to help your baby latch on correctly and overcome obstacles. My friend Samantha gave me her dog-eared copy before Toby was born, and I'm so thankful she did. I'd highly recommend it to all mothers-to-be who plan to nurse. (And good luck to you! I know everyone's experience is different.)
I'm so curious: What was your experience with breastfeeding? Did you breastfeed or decide not to? What were those early days like for you? (I am so amazed by moms who handled sore breasts on top of everything else in new motherhood! What heros!) What surprised you? I would LOVE to hear...
(Heehee)

P.S. More on breastfeeding and more Motherhood Monday posts.

Simple pleasures

Toby and I spend a lot of time at playgrounds, and sometimes I'll get really low on the ground while he's swinging. At first, he's perplexed (every time)....
...and then he finds it hilarious (every time). Toby, I love hanging out with you.

Motherhood Mondays: The best book...

My lovelies, have you read the book Operating Instructions? I'm reading it right now, and it's quickly soaring to the top of my list of favorite books.

The brilliant Anne Lamott tells the story of her first year as a mother to a sweet chubby baby boy; she was single, 35 and a recovering alcoholic. Her honest, smart and up-roaringly hilarious descriptions of new motherhood--including both meltdowns and sacred moments--made me laugh out loud and tear up. I LOVED this book!

Have you read it? What did you think? (I just ordered her book Bird by Bird, too.) What other books are you reading? I'd love to hear!

P.S. One more Motherhood Monday post coming up...

Motherhood Mondays: Baby artwork

Whoa! Have you seen the work of Andrew Miller? He makes children's portraits out of hundreds of tiny family photos of them. How incredible is that? (It must take him approximately 1,000 years.)

P.S. More amazing baby photos...

(Via Daily Candy Kids)

Motherhood Mondays: Would you find out if you were having a boy or a girl, or keep it a surprise?

My darlings, if you were pregnant, would you want to find out if you were having a boy or a girl, or would you keep it a surprise?

When I was pregnant with Toby, I was on pins and needles; I would never have had the willpower to wait to find out the baby's sex. I'm a huge gossip by nature (never tell me a secret!), and I wouldn't have been able to wait patiently for nine whole months for the gender reveal. (Funnily enough, though, if we have another baby, I think I would want to wait, just to try it both ways! Can you imagine how exciting it would be while you were in labor?)

Here's a cute video of a couple finding out their baby's sex. They asked their doctor to write down "boy" or "girl," and without looking, they gave the piece of paper to a baker. Then the baker made a cake—with either blue cake for a boy, or pink cake for a girl—covered with white icing. Finally, that night, the couple invited friends and family over while they cut the cake...and revealed the cake color!

What about you, my lovelies? Would you prefer to wait, or would want to find out? If you have kids, did you know their sexes ahead of time? I'm so curious...

P.S. Do you secretly hope for either a boy or a girl? (I did!)

(Photo by Lazareva Valeria; video by Tupelo Honey)

Adventures in babywearing

At our friend's cabin upstate, Toby loved the friendly grown-ups and wanted to be in the middle of the action at all times. But Alex and I could only chase him around and keep him from falling off the dock for so long, so the sling turned out to be a perfect way to keep him happy and immersed. Here, we're fishing with friends--it was the first time for both Toby and me! (We caught nothing:)

Another early, chilly morning during our trip, we walked by a babbling stream and paused to watch the water flow by. It was so relaxing (I caught myself thinking that it sounded just like a noise machine, ha!), and Toby's head rested more and more heavily on my chest until I realized he had fallen asleep. (My other clue was a stream of drool flowing down my decolletage, such that it is.) So I sat down on a bench while the pink sun rose in the sky, and read Operating Instructions while he slept. I wish I had photos of that sweet moment, but Toby and I were the only ones awake! I took a mental snapshot, though. :)

Anyway, the sling was such a lovely addition to the weekend and a wonderful way to have adventures with a baby as a trusty sidekick.

(The only catch is that it makes it tricky to drink a pre-dinner PBR.)

P.S. This post is part of the Sakura Bloom Styleathon, hosted by my friend Leigh. Read more here, if you'd like. Thank you again to Leigh for introducing me to the genius of slings, which are becoming part of my life in beautiful and magical ways.

Precious moments

Ever since Toby arrived, I've found myself feeling nostalgic for certain things even as they're happening. This morning, Toby was playing with water in the bathroom sink, and, as my heart swelled at the sweet sight, I simultaneously felt sad that one day soon he won't fit in there anymore. Ahh, a mama's heart is a strange and moody thing.

Motherhood Mondays: 8 confessions of a new dad

For today's second Motherhood Monday post, I'd love to talk about new fatherhood. On the three-hour drive home from the beach this weekend, Alex and I started talking about parenthood, and he revealed a few funny and surprising thoughts on our first year with a baby. Here were his eight confessions, in his own words, below...

1. "I didn't bond with the baby right away."
The experience of fatherhood is thrilling, but so hard at the same time. I loved Toby from the second I saw him. But the first few months, to be honest, were pure adjustment. The baby is so helpless, and you're so clueless, and you don’t have that strong chemical, hormonal and emotional bond with the child, in the same way the mother does.

You spend the first six months of your baby's life cramming this giant rule book. You have to learn everything—how to hold the baby, how to swaddle, how to change a diaper. I had never played with dolls or even babysat, so it was totally, totally new.

I did enjoy it--it was a fascinating odyssey and deeply satisfying--but, secretly, at the same time, if Joanna had walked in and said, "My mom's going to take over for the next month," I would have been thrilled.

2. "Time alone with the baby was surprisingly profound."
Even though I felt so lost overall, I was surprised by how spending time alone with Toby felt natural and surprisingly not scary. I remember the very first night we had Toby at home. Joanna was in bed, and I had four hours alone with him. He was sleeping in the bassinet next to me, and started to stir. I realized that he had never heard music before and that I got to pick out the first song he'd ever hear. I felt like I had a hand in shaping his destiny. Choosing a song on iTunes suddenly felt profound! I decided on "Penny Lane" by The Beatles. It was bright and optimistic, like the first day of spring. It was a magical moment.

3. “My wife acted a little like she was on drugs.”
Up until you have a baby, whatever happens, you and your wife pretty much respond the same way. You're on the same wavelength. But once the baby arrives, every thing that happens, your wife has a 90-degree different take.

Joanna's highs were higher, and her lows were lower. Her general joyfulness was so high; she was starry-eyed and blissed out. On the flip side, she was more anxious. She was more inclined to take any negative thing to heart—such as Toby fussing while we changed his diaper. I figured his fussing was a small, unfortunate but inevitable thing, but it felt incredibly urgent to Joanna. She got really upset by his crying—for her, it was like an alarm clock was going off inside her. She had an extreme surge of anxiety at any possible sign of disturbance to Toby, whereas I would address his crying but it wouldn't bother me on an emotional level. I just thought, Oh, all babies cry, he'll be ok.

It's like being with someone on drugs. You're on a different plane. You look at your wife, and you have to imagine, 'What exactly are you feeling? How does the world look to you right now?' Then you have to figure out how to respond the way she would want.

Everything does come back down to earth again. Your wife no longer feels those extreme surges at both ends of the emotional spectrum and becomes more like her old self (which is a relief to her, too), and you get more acclimated and feel like your old self. By about month nine, we found ourselves settling back into our old rhythms and feeling like ourselves again (see below:).

4. "I was nervous that my wife would like the baby better."
Maybe it sounds crazy, but a great fear I always had about having children was that my future wife might like them better. In many of my friends’ families growing up, the husband was basically replaced by the kids. There's nothing more primal than the love between mother and infant. I was absolutely worried about being dropped a notch.

Once Joanna was putting Toby to bed and I heard her tell him, "You're my favorite person in the whole world, do you know that?" and I was thinking, 'Really? What about me?' It sounds ridiculous, but it was an adjustment not to be the only man in her life. But in the end, I saw that our marriage could never be replaced by a baby—it's such a different thing. That realization was a huge relief.

5. “Children's books are boring.”
I love spending time with Toby, especially when we go on walks or play the guitar. But some baby activities are s-l-o-w. Many women seem to have a tremendous capacity to step outside themselves and see things through the baby's eyes, like reading children's books. But to me, children's books are fundamentally boring. Like, mind-numbing. The Very Hungry Caterpillar is tough sledding.

6. “Everything turned a corner at nine months."
I once heard a theory that babies are inside the womb for nine months, but that they're remain in the gestational period outside the womb for the next nine months.

Everything changed when Toby was nine months old. One day, Toby didn't seem to know who I was (or care!). But the next evening, I got home from work, and Toby was eating dinner in the high chair, and he looked up at me and smiled and shrieked and did jazz hands. He recognized me! It was amazing. I felt like we had truly connected. Honestly, for the first time, he didn't only feel like my baby, but like my son.

7. “I daydream about the future with Toby.”
I often daydream about Toby growing up: listening to music, taking him on boats, teaching him how to cook a great omelet, telling stories about "the old days." I always picture us on hikes for some reason—even though I don't really go on many hikes. My father and I used to sit around for hours some nights and plan my future, and I love the idea of being on the other side of that conversation. I also look forward to imparting lessons that my dad didn't give me—like how to ask out women.

8. “I'm ready for another.”
With your first baby, it's really tough. Every day is a surprise. But now I know that I can do it. Raising a child for the first 12 months of their life is a skill I now have. Having a second baby? Believe it or not, I can't wait. :)

Thank you, Alexei! My lovelies, do you think own dads had to adjust to having children? Fellow mamas, did your husbands immediately take to new parenthood, or did they find the transition tricky? Have they said anything about the experience? If you're a guy, what are your thoughts on fatherhood? I would love to hear... xoxo

Salt-Water sandals

My darlings, another Motherhood Monday post is coming up (about husbands!), but in the meantime, I wanted to share these sandals for little dudes. Every child in our neighborhood wears Salt-Water sandals, which are adorable, comfy and tough enough for city streets, grass parks, sandy beaches, and, of course, salty water. Toby just got his first little pair, and we're loving them already.

Mamas, have you ever tried them? What other children's shoes do you swear by? xo

P.S. Funnily enough, the sandals are also becoming cool for grown-ups. We spotted some chicer-than-chic women wearing them in the Hamptons!
(Bottom photo by Fashion is Spinach)

Pilsner cravings

What happens when you don't let Toby try a sip of beer at the Brooklyn beer hall.

Le petit prince

We were at a baby birthday party last weekend, and Toby fell asleep still wearing his crown. This photo is so sweet to me, it breaks my heart. :)
(Thanks, Ashley)

Motherhood Mondays: A funny tip about sex...

My darlings, for this Motherhood Monday post, let's talk about...sex! Recently I heard a genius tip about how to have a sexy date night with your husband. Want to hear?


Esther Perel, the author of the fascinating book Mating in Captivity, says that when you get home from a romantic night out, the key to having a sexy rest-of-the-night is simple: Let your husband pay the babysitter.

Why?

When the woman pays the babysitter, Perel says, she instantly switches back into "mom mode." She hunts for the cash and adds up the hourly wages; she asks the babysitter how much milk the baby drank and how long it took for him to fall asleep; she asks about the babysitter's weekend and confirms the next babysitting appointment. Having sex? Suddenly it's the furthest thing from her mind.

So, instead of paying the babysitter, says Perel, the woman should get home and head straight to the bedroom. That way, she can relax, maybe light a candle, and keep feeling fun and flirty. Meanwhile, the husband pays the sitter, sends her on her way, and then joins his lovely date!

Isn't that funny? It's such a simple but great tip. (I just hope our babysitters don't read this post, since after our next date night, I will be booking it to the bedroom:)

What do you think, mamas? Who normally pays the babysitter? What do you do on your date nights? What other little things do you do to keep the sparks in your relationship? I would LOVE to hear! xoxo
(Top photo via The Bean and the Bear; bottom photo of Alex and me by Christine. Also, thanks, Anna)

Happy Birthday, Toby!

Happy 1st Birthday, Toby! Today we can do all your favorite things, including walking up stairs, going to the playground, eating hummus and not taking a bath under any circumstances. We absolutely adore you.

P.S. I can't believe this was a year ago today.

Motherhood Mondays: Ten tips for traveling with a baby

For today's Motherhood Monday post, I'd love to talk about traveling with a baby (and hear your tips). We just got back from a week in San Francisco, and we also took Toby to California last Christmas. During those long trips, we learned a few things (on the fly!) that helped us travel more smoothly and with fewer freak-outs. :) Here are 10 things that we discovered make traveling with a baby much easier...

On the plane:

1. If you're traveling domestically within the U.S., babies fly free until they're two. They just sit in your lap. (Note: Be sure to give the airline a head's up when you book your flight.) If you're flying internationally, you have to pay some extra taxes for the baby, but it's much less expensive than buying a full ticket, of course. (Note: You can also purchase a full ticket for your baby and have them sit in a car seat next to you, which would be an awesome option, if you have a bigger budget.)

2. Fly during naps or at bedtime. Flying with a sleeping baby is exactly 1 million times easier than flying with a baby who wants to bounce, walk, crawl, sing, screech, and play for the entire flight. We try to book flights leaving around 7:30 p.m. (Toby's bedtime), or, if it's a short flight, around lunchtime, and then cross our fingers that he'll curl up on our shoulders and nap.

3. Feed during take-off and landing. Babies don't know how to pop their ears, so it's helpful to offer a bottle (or boob:) when the plane takes off + just as the plane begins to descend (which is when you'll notice your own ears popping), to help ease the ear pressure.

4. Sit apart on the plane. This is a random tip (and sounds counterintuitive), but we swear by it: If you’re traveling with your husband/wife/partner, don't sit together; instead, get two aisle seats far apart on the plane. Here's our story: When we arrived at the airport for our San Francisco flight, Alex and I realized that we weren't sitting together on the flight. It was too late to change our seats, and I was bummed at first, since I figured it would make the flight more difficult. But we were actually surprised to find that it made things MUCH easier for all three of us. Alex and I agreed to switch off with Toby every hour. It was GREAT for us (we each got frequent breaks to sleep/read/eat/watch TV/etc. and weren't on co-baby-duty for the entire flight) and GREAT for the baby (it was fun and refreshing to see mom/dad each time we switched and kept things interesting throughout the long flight).

During your stay:

5. Consider renting an apartment/house. Hotels have their perks (indoor pools! room service! ice machines!) but the rooms are often quite small, and with a baby, you need space. Our friends went to L.A. a few years ago and stayed in a beautiful hotel, but they laughed afterwards about how, once the baby went to bed, they were stuck eating sandwiches in the bathroom. :) Renting a apartment or house lets you watch movies, cook dinner and even invite friends over after the baby is asleep. And house rentals are usually really budget-friendly! Check out homeaway, airbnb or vrbo for great options.

6. Skype babysitters. When we were planning our trips to California, we asked friends and relatives for babysitter recommendations. Then, before we left, I interviewed the potential babysitters on Skype from our New York apartment; I would even hold Toby up to the computer to say hello! It was a nice way to "meet" them and feel comfortable about them before leaving on our trip. And it was GREAT to have babysitters for a few evenings during our vacations. We loved spending the days with Toby, of course, but at night, Alex and I were excited to go out to romantic dinners without a baby in tow (and it really helped make the vacation feel like a true break). Toby was fast asleep anyway, so we felt fine leaving him, and the babysitter would just hang out and guard the fort. :)

What to pack:

7. Car seat + stroller frame. We've had a great experience with a Graco car seat and a Graco stroller frame. (The stroller frame lets you turn the car seat into a stroller.) In the airport, you can load the stroller up with both your baby and your bags, and then you can check the car seat and base for free* right at the gate. During your trip, you can use the car seat in taxis and rental cars; and then you can turn it into a stroller for walking around parks and museums. (P.S. For older babies and young kids, the GoGo Babyz Travelmate looks awesome.) * You typically can check 1-2 baby items for free on flights, in addition to your regular bags.

8. Baby Bjorn travel crib. I've mentioned this before, but the Baby Bjorn travel crib is amazing. It's comfy, light and incredibly easy to pack/unpack, and Toby sleeps comfortably and soundly. We initially hesitated to splurge on it, but now we're so glad we did; it's so helpful and easy when traveling. (A side note: We also use it in New York when going to friends' houses for dinner or movies, so we can take Toby with us and put him to bed while we're there.) I'd highly recommend it.

9. White noise for your computer (or phone). Toby is used to sleeping with white noise, but we didn't want to schlep our heavy noise machine along on our trip. So Alex was psyched to find this awesome white noise CD. We just downloaded it on our laptop and played it in the bedroom. Bonus: You won't have to tiptoe around at night, since the white noise will block out any noise you make, as well as any startling street noise or house creakings that your baby isn't used to. (P.S. This made me laugh:)

10. Order Diapers.com to your destination. We typically order a box of diapers, wipes, whatever we might need during our trip from Diapers.com. Bonus: Delivery is free, and the box always magically arrives the next morning. (I don't know how they do it:) That way, you don’t have to carry everything on the flight with you (and can avoid trekking to a grocery store as soon as you land).

I hope this is helpful (and doesn't seem overwhelming when it's written out)! Traveling with a baby definitely has its crazy moments, but it can be wonderful, magical and revitalizing, and I usually find that the handful of things I'm most worried about (chaotic flights; crying in the car seat)...don't actually happen. Overall, I've found traveling with a baby to be easier than I had expected, which was a nice surprise! :)

Do you have any favorite family-friendly destinations? Do you have any advice about flying or traveling with little ones? Baby items you swear by? Any major travel triumphs or disasters? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts...

Happy travels!
(Top photo from Playsam; the bottom photo is of Toby in the morning:)

My favorite baby carrier

My sweets, hope you had a wonderful weekend! We're back in New York now, but already missing San Francisco (and shrimp tacos). Photos coming up!

Meanwhile, I'd love to do two Motherhood Monday posts today. First up, have you ever worn a baby carrier? The comfiest one I've found (by far) is the Ergo, $135, which is really easy to put on. It's great to walk around the city (and into stores) while wearing Toby; I wear him on the front, so we can chit-chat, and he's always more mellow than when he's in the stroller.

So I was psyched to see that the Ergo just got a makeover. I have the sea green color (which I like), but they're now offering it in beautiful fabrics, like this lovely one above. Wouldn't it add such a pretty touch to an outfit? I'm trying to rationalize buying one for the summer. :)

P.S. 10 things to wear as a nursing mother.

(Via Stroller Traffic)

Motherhood Mondays: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? Or your parents?

On this Motherhood Monday, I'd love to talk about kissing babies.

First, here's a little story: When I was sixteen, we went to visit my grandparents in England. One night, I was saying good night to my grandfather. "Good night, Dilly," I said, standing next to his armchair, and then I leaned over and gave him a peck on the mouth. We had always kissed my parents on the lips, and I figured that was appropriate. I thought it was just what you did!

"Oh, yes, uh, well, Joanna," he said, flustered and almost dropping his whisky. Then he pulled himself together and looked up at me. "You know, I always say, 'A man should kiss his father on the forehead, kiss his friends and family on the cheek, and kiss his wife on the lips.'"

Oh, I thought, blushing a shade of lobster red. Good to know. I was mortified! After that, I stuck to cheek-kisses for pretty much everyone (even high-school boyfriends, but that's another story).

Fast forward fifteen years: Now that I have my own baby, I can't help kissing him all over the face, including his slobbery mouth. I basically make out with him. :) Nothing feels better than drool-y kisses from a baby. It feels instinctual. And I remember seeing a French movie years ago where the mother kissed her five-year-old daughter on the mouth, and it seemed sweet and natural (and chic:).

Funnily enough, though, Alex feels differently. I remember the day after Toby was born, we were still in the hospital, and I turned to Alex and said, "Oh, you have to kiss him on the mouth, it feels so good, you have to try it," and Alex was like, "No, thanks, I'll kiss him right here...on the top of the head." I teased him good-naturedly but, a year later, he's still rocking the forehead peck.

So, I'm curious: Do you kiss your babies on the mouth? What about older children? Was there an age where you stopped? Have you ever kissed your parents on the mouth? Do you think it's lovely or entirely inappropriate? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts!

(Top photo of Toby; bottom photos by Anais and Alain)

Family photos

After such a long winter, I almost forgot how wonderful and restorative sunshine can be! Hurray.

P.S. The 19 best NYC playgrounds.