A Slap in The Face

Night.

I'm helping DRTYTLK with the channel on IRC. It's late, after 11:00. I bid DARIANA goodnight, DRTY disappeared somewhere, and I'm in the channel alone. I just got through a long discussion about my field in the tech sector with HAWX. He is a Systems Engineer/Administrator with hiring capabilities. I am overjoyed. He's looking for people. I tell him I have the skills that he is looking for. He tells me that he's in Vermont....my world comes tumbling down. I tell him that I'm down and out in New York. Too bad. I keep forgetting that IRC can have people anywhere. Even across the globe. Shit ICE-C is in damn London England.

That reminds me, I haven't seen him in a long, long time. He was having problems the last time that I talked to him. There you go. I have no life. I stay online and butt into the lives of others. My life is filled with WECARE and craziness like that. This is the major reason why I'm fighting so hard to extricate myself from them. Why do you think I pull against the leash angrily. I don't want to be feckless. I don't want to kowtow. I'm a man damnit. Why should I give in so easily. If I have to be on my knees I'd rather be so after being forced to be there, instead of falling to them fearfully.

Whatever. You see. My problem is thinking about them all of the time. They have become my overarching menace. This cannot continue forever. I'm talking a big fight here, this much I know. My mouth can easily write checks that my fists can't cash, but I'm a talking anyway.

Well, I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't put myself to bed. Probably earlier in the day. I'm stressed maybe. I'm angry maybe. I'm frustrated maybe. So what should I do to relieve the pressure? Write on my new novel. I work on it for hours, rattling through action, kidnaping, guns, kids, cops, detectives, you name it, it's in there. But I think that all this work is tantamount to pissing into a well. It's not going to do anything, it's just work. If I had an editor sitting in an office, waiting with baited breath for me to crank it out and hand it over. But no. That's only in big dreams. I don't give a fuck. I'm fucking bipolar. Delusions of Grandeur is one of my manifestations. I reach for the stars. That's just what I do when I'm delusional.

I want a real cold slap in the face. I go online to DICE.com to search for tech jobs. Fucking depressing. It's funny, the people hiring are getting desperate. You can tell, because they are packing and padding all kinds of experience on one job. In effect trying to take two or three people that they've laid off and join their skills together to get something that looks like this...don't read it unless you like pain. But the shit looks like this:

The Storage Architect will collaborate with the Customer's staff and the local Professional Services team in order to assist NetApp customers through on-site support including:
* Onsite system monitoring
* Preventive maintenance
* Managing Repairs
* Software Installation
* Firmware updates
* Managing Upgrades
* Managing Hardware installation
* Provisioning
* Assisting in the development of Replication strategy and managing replication
* Assisting in the development of D2D backups and managing backups
* Storage Availability Health Checks
* Research and advise on customer storage issues
* Review processes, procedures, and infrastructure and implement best practices
* Change Management and Release Management roles
* Assist with Data Center Operations as required: Provisioning, Replication, D2D backups
* Installation and configuration of NetApp hardware and software products
* Requirements analysis including gathering technical details regarding customer's environment
* Implementation of backup and restore, disaster recovery, storage consolidation, data protection, storage performance, etc.
* Optimization including upgrades, performance monitoring and system audit tasks
* Customer support including troubleshooting and problem resolution
* Technical leadership in providing mentoring and guidance to other technical team members
* NetApp best practices implementation within customer environment
* Knowledge transfer for customer operations staff

Why don't they just hire the three people back that they laid off? This is the pile up mentality and that's why the jobs are drying up. As the companies deal with tighter and tighter budgets they squeeze more and more out of their workers, even BEFORE they hire them. They're full of shit. It's as if we don't see this happening. When the market stress eases and the economy takes an upswing, this position will be divided back into three or four workers and there will be more reasonable qualifications.

What the fuck am I saying here? DICE.com is more depressing than searching for a publisher or agent. They are both like bouncing a ball against a brick wall, hoping that you can knock it down in your lifetime. I'm sad. My balloon of delusion bursts. It's time for me to go back to the Roach Motel with my tail between my legs. I'm not getting out, I'm not getting ahead. I've gone as far as the present economy will let me. I can't even get a job as a PC technician because I don't have an A+ Certification. I don't have the paper, I just have YEARS OF DOING THE FUCKING JOB. Besides, I'm WAY OVERQUALIFIED for such a job. No one will hire you when your resume looks like mine because they are certain that you'll bounce as soon as you find a job that's a better fit for your skills. Further, your boss starts to shit about HIS skills. If you would suddenly become competition.

Will there be good news? Will the jobs start flowing back into the US Economy?

"The most recent forecasts by Fed policy makers say that the economy will begin an unusually slow recovery in the second half of this year and pick up speed only gradually in 2010. Even if all goes according to plan, the Fed envisions that unemployment will climb from its already high level of 9.4 percent and average as much as 9.8 percent through the end of 2010."

Not fucking good news anytime soon. I'm going to have to wish for my selling a book or screenplay, or something, because it's not coming from a job in this year.

It's enough about this. The streets are tough as it is without the added pain of dealing with not having much of a chance of finding a job. I need a chance to ease into another job in the tech field. I need to have that lucky break again before all of this shit can work the right way. I'll be around and I'll be Vigilant and Watchful. I'll keep an eagle eye open for that chance. If it comes from the job sector, from the publishing of my book, or from anywhere else.

I'll survive this.

Hobobob