WHODUNNIT????

posted by Jo Robertson

Our visitors are very clever; many of you pointed your fingers toward the Golden Rooster, and I must admit, he's a likely thief.

But, let's face it (whispering loudly), I don't think the chook's smart enough to pull it off.

After much deliberation, I let my two sons decide and . . . ta dah!!! Tyler and Rand are sure the culprit is . . . WAIT FOR IT!!! . . .

A Conspiracy of the Outside Caterers!!! The e-book download goes to DONNELL

Donnell, send your snail addy to jo.lewisrobertson@yahoo.com and when the download is available, I'll see you receive it.

The winner of a free copy print copy of THE WATCHER by random drawing for those of you who sent me your address is . . .

ELLIE!!! Congratulations. Your book will be going out this week.

Thanks to everyone for playing our CSI game Saturday.

FYI: I'll be blogging at the following sites on the corresponding dates:

Aug 3 -- www.romancewritersrevenge.com with Terri O. and Ms. Hellion

Aug 9 -- www.theromancedish.com with P.J. and the gang

Aug 12 -- www.thoughtsovercoffee.com with Sia M.

Aug 16 -- www.masoncanyon.blogspot.com with Mason's "Thoughts in Progress"

Aug 22 -- www.romanceuniversity.org with Jen T.

Aug 25 -- www.auntycindy.blogspot.com with Aunty Cindy

Aug 31 -- www.fivescribes.com with Donnell

CSI Launch in the Lair!

by Jo Robertson

We're not exactly having a Launch Party today. Do I hear groans and sighs of disappointment. The Banditas and their BB's are always up for a raucous event.


Never fear! We have the usual finger foods and goodies on hand. Sven's been hard at work in the kitchen making canapes and those little barbecued sausages, as well as caviar and champagne.

Unfortunately he's not getting the usual "help" from Lars, who's promised everyone a foot massage today. It's probably just as well since Lars tends to drop things.

The party preparations are on temporary halt, however, because we have a serious problem in the Lair.

Someone (andI'm not mentioning any names) stole the proof copy of Jo-Mama's debut book "The Watcher."


In case you're confused look to the left for Evidence #1 -- the purloined book!

Missing, MISSING, I tell you! And someone must pay!

You might suspect the Golden Rooster carried the book off to the Land of Oz or even -- shudder -- to the "right coast." Or perhaps a Bandita Buddy from down south "appropriated" the proof prize. Not naming names, again, but I hear some of those southern gals have sticky fingers.

In fact, our famous Chook is NOT the culprit, but the investigator. So line up the usual suspects and let the case begin!

GR: What? What? Oh, that's right, some naughty visitor to the Lair has stolen Jo-Mama's proof of "The Watcher." Let me see, let me see (dons his Sherlock Holmes hat and whips out his magnifying glass).

Sven: Not I! I've been slaving in the kitchen for days (looks darkly at Lars). With NO help, I might add.

Lars: Don't look at me (eyes Aunty Cindy's pretty colored toes greedily). I've been playing with pinkies all day.

[Enter Gladiators Demitrius and Marcus, flashing swords.]

Jo-Mama: What about those two?

GR: Not likely. They never learned to read, just a bunch of steroid-pumped hunks (looks jealously at the Gladiators).

JM: Say it isn't so! Reading is the foundation of civilization!

GR: Whatever. (Bends over, examining a dusty spot on the end table of the reading room.) Hmmmm, looks like the book was lying here.

JM: Good grief! How can you tell MY book was there? There are millions of Bandita books around here. (Flings her arms wildly) It IS the gullar sahir Lair, after all. Books are coming out all the time!

GR: I see dead people.

JM: What are you talking about, you crazy chook?

GR: Dead people! Aren't your books full of dead people?

JM: Well, sure, "The Watcher" is a romantic thriller, but it's not ALL about murder and mayhem. There's a very sensual love story in it. Kate and Slater have an instant connection between them, and although she's single minded to the point of annoyance, Slater's just the man to, uh . . . distract her.

Take a look at Evidence #2 -- the back cover blurb:

Forensic psychiatrist Kate Myers believes the killer of two teenage girls in Bigler County, California, is the same man who savagely murdered her twin sister over fifteen years ago. Working with a single-minded tenacity, she sets out to prove it.

Deputy Ben Slater hides his personal pain behind the job, but Kate's arrival in his county knocks his world on its axis. He wants to believe her wild theory, but the idea of a serial killer with the kind of pathology she proposes is too bizarre.

Together they work to find a killer whose roots began in a small town in Bigler county, but whose violence spread across the nation. A Janus-like killer, more monster than man, he fixates on Kate. The killer wants nothing more than to kill the "purple-eyed girl again."

[Enter Paolo, Lucius, and the Hockey Hunks, led by Zach, all bearing trays of champagne and bottle of Coke and Pepsi -- perennial rivals in the Lair]

GR: (shouting at the top of his lungs) Let the festivities begin!

AC: (Grabbing for the champagne) Give me one of those! (sniffs loudly) I hope that nasty Ermigarde isn't going to eat all the food.

GR: (Stumbles about, muttering) Clues, clues, must follows the clues.

Readers, join us in the hunt for my proof copy of "The Watcher." Who do YOU think purloined the book? One of the Banditas or Buddies? One of the Lair denizens or guests? Or someone we'd never, ever think of! Heh, heh, who's the main suspect??!!

One clever commenter who convinces me who the guilty culprit is and WHY will receive a free download of "The Watcher" when it becomes available the end of August.

Everyone who emails me a snail mail addy (jo.lewisrobertson@yahoo.com) will receive an autographed postcard of the book cover and will be entered to win a PRINT COPY of "The Watcher."

The Watcher Is Coming SOON!

by Aunty Cindy and Jo-Mama


AC: Hey Banditas and BBs! Did you notice the new covers on the sidebar under August releases? Did you also notice a name you haven't seen on a book cover until now? YES! Our very own Jo-Mama will have her debut release next month -- a scary, can't-put-down tale of romantic
suspense called THE WATCHER.

J-M: Aunty Cindy, this is a real squeeeeeee moment for me! Holding a proof copy of my book in my hands was beyond thrilling.

AC: I gotta agree! Seeing the uncorrected Advance Review Copy of your book ranks right up there in the Thrill of a Lifetime category!

As most of the Lair regulars know, we Banditas first met because we were all Golden Heart finalists in 2006. Jeanne, Cassondra, Suz, Jo and I were all finalists in the romantic suspense category. But Jo was THE BIG WINNER that night, and the book was THE WATCHER! Now, at long last, we all get a chance to read this award winning story. I've read it and I have to tell you it kept me up most of the night! THE WATCHER is a spooky tale of a serial killer and the people in law enforcement working to catch him.

J-M: Thanks, Cindy! That's a fine compliment for a suspense writer. But, not to worry, Bandita Buddies, there's plenty of romance in the story, too, as my hero and heroine work together to track down the killer.

AC: Jo, please tell us where you got the idea for this book and how you came up with such unique and fascinating characters.

J-M: The idea for my killer came from an abnormal psychology class I was taking at the time. I can't reveal too much about the killer's pathology or I'll give a key point away, but I thought, "If a person with this particular condition were to experience these particular traumas as he grew up, what might be the result?" I sort of ran with that idea and came up with my bad guy.

I wanted my hero to be a steady, dependable sort of guy, who ended up as deputy sheriff in this small town to escape a heart-breaking event in his past.

Kate Myers, my heroine, is a plunge-into-the-thick-of-things-without-thinking kind of woman. She's been tracking this killer for a long time.

AC: Ah yes, your hero Ben Slater is definitely DROOL worthy! I'm sure everyone who reads this book will adore him. Was there anyone you used as a "model" for this character?

J-M: I didn't have a real person in mind for Slater's physical attributes, but I definitely relied on the men in my life -- my four sons and husband -- as a template for his personality. My guys are very protective kinds of men.

The operative word for Slater is "steady."

After I'd long finished the book, however, I realized that he looks very much like Alcide in HBO's "True Blood." Here's a picture if you don't follow the series.

AC: Oh my! (fans self vigorously) I really must put this series in my Netflix queue!

Now, where was I? Oh, right! Your heroine, Kate is very much his match! She is also a forensic psychiatrist. How did you come up with her occupation? Anyone who served as her "model?"

J-M: Kate is tall and leggy, very California "fresh" and healthy looking. I wanted her to be smart and an expert in her profession. By the way, forensic psychiatry is a real career, a sub-speciality of psychiatry and often an adjunct to law and criminality. I may have taken a little literary license with the kinds of things my heroine can do, however!

AC: That's why it's called 'fiction' m'dear! And why we love reading and writing it! I can't wait for THE WATCHER to hit the shelves (and e-book readers) because I want to talk about some of the interesting plot twists without spoiling the story for others.

J-M: Thanks for hosting me, Cindy, and giving up your blog day to talk about my book!

AC: My pleasure! I love to be the first one to interview you about your debut release.

Okay, everyone, I hope we have you intrigued enough to read Jo's book.

Don't miss our July 30 Launch Party for THE WATCHER here in the Lair!

What unusual occupations have you read about lately? Are there some different forms of employment you would like to see a hero or heroine of a book doing?

What was the last book you read that kept you awake at least half the night?

Also, send your snail mail addy to Jo at jo.lewisrobertson@yahoo.com to receive a free postcard of her book's cover and be entered in a contest to receive a print copy of THE WATCHER when it releases.

FAST FIVE

by Jo Robertson

Here's a quick bit of fun for a (hopefully not too) hot Saturday:


Television -- half-hour sitcom or hour-long drama? I love those sitcoms. They're only 22 minutes of viewing time (without commercials) if you want a quick break!

Sleepwear -- sexy and frilly, sloppy and comfortable, in the buff? Yeah, right, this body no longer does sexy. I want comfort!

News Broadcst -- computer, television, or newspaper? I keep telling Dr. Big that newspapers are out of fashion, but he loves his hour of reading in the morning. Me, computer news because I can pick and choose what to read or not.

Sports -- basketball or football or baseball? Don't hate me, but watching baseball is like watching paint dry, football's cool, but too slow, I love me some basketball!

Replacement for Charlie Sheen on 2.5? -- Ashton Kutcher (he IS the replacement), Charlie come back, or Aw, I wanted Hugh Grant and his lovely accent. aplusk (Kutcher's twitter handle) all the way; he's phenom (and I think I'm gonna be a stalker -- hey, doesn't he like older women LOL?

Let 'er rip, Bandita Buddies. What's your fave? Be sure to tell us why!

GOING HOME

by Jo Robertson

About ten years ago on Fathers Day our seven children picked out individual rose bushes and planted them in a row by the fence in our back yard. At the time my youngest son had distanced himself from the family so the spot for his bush remained empty, a sad reminder that one of the seven was missing.


Recently that son returned, bought a lovely white rose bush with a blush of pink on the petals, dug a hole and planted the flowers near the other six.

Thomas Wolfe said, "You can't go home again," but I'm not sure that's true. I think, as Robert Frost claimed, "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in."

We live in a complicated world where daily stress and dangerous lures trap many people. It seems fitting on this U.S. Memorial Day, when we traditionally honor those who've died in the service of country, that we also honor those who've traveled hard roads, made difficult journeys, and have returned to their haven of safety.

Whether from war, a troubled marriage, college, incarceration or disenfranchisement, let's welcome home all those who are "going home."

If you could memorialize one person, someone who's meant a lot to you, given you something precious, or influenced your life in some way, who would you choose and why?

KENTUCKY BORDER BOLOGNA

by Jo Robertson

I recently returned from a visit with my brother Fred and his wife Sylvia in North Carolina. Their lovely house looks out toward the Pasquotank River, a gorgeous view. During this visit Fred and I spent a lot of time working on his personal story.

You see, I didn’t know Fred existed until about five years ago. He and I have different mothers, but the same father. But that’s a blog for another day.

Today’s subject is Kentucky Border Bologna! During my North Carolina trip, I discovered this delicious meat product. I use this term because I don't know what they put in it, and I suspect I'm better off remaining ignorant!

To a southern-bred gal like me a fried bologna sandwich is like heaven. I eat the artery-clogging stuff like an addict. I don’t care. Just give me my next fix. If you're wondering what can possibly be so great about bologna, you haven't tasted the really good stuff.

When my brother Fred visits his hometown in Kentucky, he always buys several of these bologna rolls. Sylvia freezes them and they slice off the amount they want as they use it.

Kentucky Border Bologna is sharp and salty, tasty either warm or cold. We had it for breakfast and lunch, and I could've eaten it for dinner, but Sylvia made me go healthy. Party pooper.

However, she packed several sandwiches for my wait at the airport on my way home, and luckily, airport security did not considered Kentucky Border Bologna a homeland security violation. Silly people.

Kentucky Border Bologna is the best bologna I've EVAH tasted. I had no idea where it was manufactured, but I heard a rumor that it isn’t shipped anywhere outside Kentucky.

That alone was enough to intrigue me, so I made a few long-distance phone calls. The meat department manager at Ralph's Food Fair in Grayson, KY -- a very nice gentleman with a lovely southern accent -- assured me that they did indeed sell Kentucky Border Bologna. He even tracked down the writing on the wrapping -- Kp Packing.


A little internet detecting led me to the company, Kp Packing in Erlanger, KY, where another helpful woman told me the product is now called Kentucky Best Bologna, a mistake in naming, in my opinion. There's something wickedly catchy and illegal about Kentucky Border Bologna.



The picture is from their website. Seriously, Kp, you need to get a larger picture!


Unfortunately, they do not ship outside of their region, so we Californians cannot jump on the internet and order some of this delicious spicy meat.



Sigh. I think I'm going into withdrawal.


I suppose my arteries will thank the company, but my taste buds are crying for a huge helping of this salty delight.

So, right now I’m eating my plain old PB&J sandwich and watching the delightful Timothy Olyphant in the latest episode of “Justified.”
Right now that’s the closest I can get to Kentucky and their delicious border bologna.



I’m in the mood for sharing our decadent foods. So, what’s your wicked delight, food-wise? Find any recent recipes or tasty treasures to share?


Here’s a recipe Sylvia gave me, a “healthy” version of Key Lime Pie. We ate about three of them when I visited, which is good because the recipe makes three.

Sylvia’s Key Lime Pie

3 reduced-fat graham cracker crusts
16 oz light Cool Whip
12 oz frozen limeade (or lemonade)
2 cans fat-free condenses milk

Beat together, pour into shells and freeze until firm.

Okay, let's get down and share our favorite decadence!

Misa Ramirez Visits the Lair!

posted by Jo Robertson

Today we're fortunate to have writer Misa Ramirez, aka Melissa Bourbon, return to the Lair.

Melissa Bourbon, who sometimes answers to her Latina-by-marriage name Misa Ramirez, gave up teaching middle and high school kids in Northern California to write full-time amidst horses and Longhorns in North Texas. She fantasizes about spending summers writing in quaint, cozy locales, has a love/hate relationship with yoga and chocolate, is devoted to her family, and can’t believe she’s lucky enough to be living the life of her dreams. She is the marketing director at Entangled Publishing, is the author of the Lola Cruz Mystery series with St. Martin’s Minotaur, A Magical Dressmaking Mystery series with NAL, and is the co-author of The Tricked-out Toolbox with Turquoise Morning Press.

Please give Misa a hearty welcome.

Lucille Ball famously said, “If you need something done, ask a busy person.” I embody that quote and all that it means.

Let me start with this background info: I’m a wife. I’m a mother of 5 kids, aged 8-18. I teach online classes. I teach at a local university. I’m on the board of my kids’ elementary school’s PTA. I’m creating the yearbook for that school. Just me, no help (how did that happen, anyway?). I run Books on the House (http://booksonthehouse.com/) I co-founded The Naked Hero (http://thenakedhero.com/) I co-founded The Writer’s Guide to ePublishing (http://thewritersguidetoepublishing.com/) I write. I’m the Marketing Director for Entangled Publishing. I’m sure there’s more, I just can’t think of it right now.

The bottom line? Writing is my passion. I am a former middle school and high school teacher, and, as I said, I still teach online with Savvy Authors, RWA, and at Southern Methodist University’s Cape Creative Writing program. Teaching, I think, is in my blood and always will be. But slowly, my passion for writing has taken over a huge part of my life. It’s what I do. It’s become a large part of my self-identity, and I love every bit of it. Mostly, I love the actual process of writing.

A Deadly Curse, my newest romantic suspense, is based on the Mexican legend of la Llorona. I love this book. A reader recently called it “chilling” and another said, “This is a creepy book, in the very best sense of the word...a fast-paced story with a surprise twist at the end that I, at least, didn't see coming. Highly recommended!”

Here's the blurb on A Deadly Curse:

Most people think the Spanish legend of la Llorona, a woman who killed her children to be with the man she loved, is just a story. High school teacher, Johanna Rios, knows the truth. A descendant of la Llorona’s one surviving child, Joanna’s mother fell victim to the curse, drowning as she tried to kill Johanna and her sister Carmen. When one of Johanna’s former students, dressed in a white peasant dress like the crying woman herself, turns up drowned in the San Julio River, Johanna’s world turns upside down.

The curse is back.

Single father Ray Vargas is filled with guilt. His daughter’s friend, a former student from the high school where he’s principal, is dead and he could have prevented it. When Johanna Rios, one of his teachers, reveals her obsession with la Llorona and thinks three more people will die, each one representing a different version of the crying woman’s story, he will do whatever it takes to stop the killings from happening.

But with danger closing in and his own daughter at risk, Ray must join forces with Johanna to confront the legend, the curse, and the man behind the killings.

http://www.amazon.com/A-Deadly-Curse-ebook/dp/B004N62762

Read an Excerpt at http://misaramirez.com/misas-books/a-deadly-curse/excerpt-a-deadly-curse/

The second book, A Deadly Sacrifice (chupacabras, ranchers, and a curandera, oh my!) will be out in April. I also have a new cozy mystery series with NAL. Pleating for Mercy debuts August 2nd.

And I’m thrilled beyond belief that my Lola Cruz mystery series will continue--release date at the end of 2011. Woot!

My writing fills my life. So why, then, did I take on the position of Marketing Director for Entangled Publishing, a boutique publisher filling the space between traditional publishing and self/indie/mass quantity ePublishers? Because in the process of writing and promoting my own books, marketing has become an offshoot passion, something I’m good at, and something I want to help other authors with.

Finding a piece of the publishing industry that I really believe in has been a huge thrill, and I believe in Entangled Publishing, what they stand for, and how they do business. Throwing your book out there and crossing your fingers that it sprouts wings and flies is all well and good. It happens to a few fortunate people. It does not happen to most of us. We have to create our opportunities.

This realization led me to create Books on the House, a site bringing books and readers together under one roof. Every week, readers give away copies of their books...for free. It also led me to co-author (with Tonya Kappes [http://tonyakappes.com/]) The Tricked-out Toolbox: Promotion and Marketing Tools Every Writer Needs

https://www.createspace.com/357956

This book is a practical guide to promotion and writing and chock full of ideas, tips, and resources to make the most of your time, energy, and marketing dollars. Because of these two endeavors, I was well-primed to take on the role of Marketing Director for Entangled. Entangled has a phenomenal management and editorial team, and the marketing department, led by me, is just one of the many elements which sets us apart. We are a boutique agency, part of which means we have a very strong focus on building relationships between the publicists and the authors they represent, leveraging each authors’ strengths, and gaining maximum exposure for each and every book.

There’s no silver bullet to success. Mostly it’s hard work. And that’s on top of the hard work required when writing a book. Even with a stellar marketing department behind you (and I’m here to tell you that most publishers do not devote the time, energy, or money to promote each of its authors/books), it’s up to each author to do what he or she can to build a career and garner sales. In the day and age of e-books, independent digital publishers, bricks and mortar stores closing left and right (it was announced recently that Borders is closing 28 more stores), and the changing face of publishing, marketing and promotion have never been more important.

Getting your book in front of readers is paramount, but how do you do that? Here are some intentional things you can do to market and promote your books (these are covered in detail in The Tricked-out Toolbox): • understand your PR personality • build an action plan • set goals • set a budget • brand yourself • have a professional and effective website • blog, grog, or otherwise having an online presence • understand theme and audience • participate in online groups, loops, and social networking • think about swag, book trailers, and other promo materials • network • set up opt-in mailing lists • use ethical bribes (or bartering) • have a press kit • advertise • set up blog tours • use contests and giveaways • decide if book signings are for you • create a sell sheet.

Whew! That seems overwhelming, doesn’t it? It doesn’t have to be. Starting with goal setting is key. Once you know your strengths and what you hope to achieve, you can set about building your action plan. Once you have a solid action plan, you can begin to put that plan into effect. Start with what you know you can do and work within your comfort zone. As you’re able, stretch yourself by tackling a task outside that safe place. No matter where you are in your publishing journey, it’s never too early to start creating a brand and promoting yourself. What are you doing now to fill your promotion and marketing toolbox?

You can find Misa online at: http://www.misaramirez.com/ http://www.thenakedhero.com/ http://www.thetrickedouttoolbox.com/

Find Misa's newest release at the following: http://www.amazon.com/A-Deadly-Curse-ebook/dp/B004N62762 http://search.barnesandnoble.com/A-Deadly-Curse/Misa-Ramirez/e/2940012080295

I love the cover on Misa's book Pleating for Mercy. Here's a question for our readers: What makes you pick up a book.... the cover? The title? Author blurbs? And how do you feel about indie-pubbed books verses traditional NY pubbed books? Are you willing to take a chance on an indie-pubbed book?

Winner of Brenda's Book!

Congratulations,

MARISKA!!!

You're the lucky winner of Brenda Novak's book BODY HEAT.

Please furnish your snail mail addy to

jo.lewisrobertson@yahoo.com

and Brenda will mail out her book.

FAN CONVENTION with Brenda Novak

by Jo Robertson

Please help me welcome NY Times Best-selling Author Brenda Novak back to the Lair. Not only is Brenda a prolific writer and mother of five, but she runs her annual Diabetes Research Auction every May. Check out her website and the current auction information at www.brendanovak.com.

Brenda's latest book, INSIDE, releases June 28. Here's an advance review:

Ms. Novak has been a favorite of mine for some time, but this has to be The Book for me out of all her work. It’s the one I will remember for many years to come. It’s the one that stands out not only because of the content, but the depth of the romance that is instant and intense. You aren’t going to want to miss this one! FIVE STARS

We Read Romance

Today Brenda is discussing her and Christine Feehan's FAN Conventions.

WHAT IS A FAN CONVENTION? by Brenda Novak

When #1 New York Times Best-selling Author Christine Feehan came to me with the idea for FAN (Feehan And Novak Reader Appreciation Weekend) I was excited and definitely ready to jump in, but because I’d never been to such an event I had no idea what we should plan. That problem was quickly solved when we realized that our only goal was to make our event fun and exciting and a party our loyal readers would want to come back to again and again. We also wanted to make it intimate so that we’d be able to grow close as a group (and keep it manageable), so we capped it at 100.

Our first event last year was a smashing success. We had so many of our guests tell us they wanted to come back—and they did. We just held FAN 2011, of which 40% were returnees. We also had guests from as far away as London and Calgary join us.

Follow the link for a slideshow experience of last year's event: http://animoto.com/play/1Tie5jz0hx4RqVQcINL8Mg

So what do we do at FAN? All kinds of things! Our first two events were held aboard a 1920’s riverboat, The Delta King, in Old Sacramento, which means we had a fabulous setting to start things off. Friday we threw a 1920’s Speakeasy, complete with gangster and flapper costumes and cigarette girls (candy), and played poker for prizes. A large key in each gift basket enabled the winner to unlock the treasure chest of bigger prizes, so we had some very excited winners--but everyone got a gift. That’s part of the fun of FAN—the registration bag alone had 10 or more books in it and we gave presents away at almost every function.

Saturday, we had a delicious brunch and played FANGO (basically Bingo) for more prizes. Then we had a chat with the authors, a booksigning (with a palm reader doing free readings in the other room) and the most hilarious Murder Mystery Dinner I’ve ever been to. (My husband killed Christine right in front of her agent and editor. ) There, we gave away more gifts and repeated the tradition at the send-off brunch in the paddlewheel room the following morning. At FAN 2011, we even had a few surprise guests—New York Times Bestselling Authors Cherry Adair and C.L. Wilson!!

It was really fun to get to know the people who joined us. As with 2010, many claim they want to return, so I’m looking forward to seeing my new friends at the next FAN--only this time we’re changing up the party. We’re not sure of all the changes quite yet, but we’re going to do a Venetian Ball, complete with gowns and masks, in place of the Speakeasy. I’m already on the hunt for the most beautiful period costume ever.

If you’re interested in three days of rubbing elbows with fellow bibliophiles and enjoying one party after another, FAN 2012 is scheduled for March 2 – 4. Visit http://www.fanconvention.net/ for more details (and pictures of our past events).

And if you think I’m going to sign off without telling you about my NEXT event for THIS year…you don’t know me very well. My seventh annual online auction for diabetes research opens May 1st at http://brendanovak.auctionanything.com. Go there now to register so that you’re included in all the updates because this is going to be an AMAZING year. Check out some of the items we have up for auction:

Lunches with Bestselling Authors Suzanne Brockmann, Karen Rose, Dianna Gabaldon, Barry Eisler, Steve Berry and more!
A Selection of COACH Bags from Bestselling Author Anna DeStefano
Exquisite artwork, quilts, paintings, and jewelry from dozens of donors
Hundreds of autographed books
A Mexican Beach Getaway, A Week-Long Stay in Hawaii, Florida or Tennessee—even an African Safari
A Personal Styling Session/Makeover with Bertrand Pellegrin
A haircut from celebrity hairstylish Alyn Topper
An tanzanite/diamond ring set in 18k white gold from Michael Greene & Co. (valued at $8500)
A pave diamond heart necklace (valued at $3500)
Electronics, including Nooks, Kindles and iPads!
Agent for a Day With Jessica Faust
A Day at Kensington Books
For aspiring writers--Nearly 100 top agents and editors who are donating their time to evaluate your submission
To top it all off, the person who places the highest number of bids, even if that person doesn't wind up winning a single auction item, will receive a fabulous prize package that includes a brand new laptop computer, an autographed advanced reading copy of my new book, INSIDE (due out June 28th), a FAN 2012 Convention Registration and a mystery box filled with goodies!
See you at brendanovak.com!


A question for today's readers: Have you ever attended a reader appreciation weekend? Is this something you'd like to do in the future? Why or why not?


Be sure to leave a comment to win a copy of Brenda's latest release.

A Journey into Darkness

by Jo Robertson

Did I get your attention with that dramatic title? And the equally dramatic pictures above and below -- a three-way bypass heart and Jomama in the hospital sans makeup?

Good. Because today’s post isn’t light or romantic, and is only a bit funny.

December 22, 1999. This is me holding one of my four grandbabies born that year. Each one had problems that required extra hospitalization, and my mother had died in July, so I'd experienced stress I wasn't even consciously aware of.

Here's how it went down: I was at the dentist, tilted back in the chair nearly upside-down when I felt the unmistakable pressure in my chest that I knew from previous experience was angina.

I got out of there fast and drove home.

Ridiculous, right? Yes!

I should’ve gone straight to the hospital, but I didn't, knowing my mother-in-law, who’d just arrived from out of state, was mired in holiday preparations. I popped five aspirin, lay down on the bed, and promised myself I’d call 911 if the pressure didn’t subside.

See, this is the thing about heart attacks. You always think it isn’t THE ONE even while your logical brain screams, “Dial 911, you TSTL heroine in a badly written romance novel!”

The pressure remained steady, so I calmly told my mother-in- law that I wasn’t feeling well and was going to go to the emergency room.

Yes, I drove myself to the hospital while experiencing chest discomfort. To be fair, the hospital is less than five minutes from my house.

The cool thing about hospital emergency rooms – and maybe the only cool thing about them – is that if you even breathe the words “cardiac patient,” (I’d had a previous angioplasty), they scoop you up and buckle you down like Frankenstein’s monster.

They run tests, start IV’s, give you the good drugs if you wince even a wee bit. The tests were sketchy, (WOMEN OFTEN PRESENT ATYPICAL SYMPTOMS), but the cardiologist wanted to keep me overnight.

Just to be sure.

IT WAS CHRISTMAS!! Protesting heartily, I allowed myself to be admitted. By now I was feeling quite good from my five-aspirin cocktail high. The brain tricks you into believing no pain equals no danger.

Silly brain.

When my family descended en force and brought the holiday to me, I knew I wasn’t getting out of there unless I executed a prison break. They were far more worried than I, of course.

The angiogram showed five blocked arteries, each seriously narrowed.

Not good.

It was now December 24 and every sensible cardiac surgeon was celebrating with her own family. Dr. Fitzpatrick would not let me go home. I’d never celebrated Christmas without my family. We were all devastated. And the worse part was I felt fine!

No fair!

But all my wonderful new babies, sons and daughters in law, and other grandchildren serenaded me with Christmas carols. Nurses and patients alike stopped by to join in.

But here’s the "journey into darkness" part.

See, what they do in open-heart surgery, called a CABG, is incise your chest from the sternum to the middle of the stomach. They break the chest bone, pry apart the ribs, stop the heart and hook it up to a machine, cut your leg from crotch to knee and knee to ankle to pull out the veins like linked sausages. They use these veins as by-pass “arteries” to replace your blocked ones.

Snip, snip. Stitch, stitch. Luckily, you're way under the anesthesia for all this.

When they’re finished they jump start your heart, metal-clamp the breast bone and suture the flesh, and viola!

Then the fun starts. If anyone had told me all the above details beforehand, I’d have run like hell. After surgery you wake up looking like you’ve been in a street fight.

And lost the battle.

Everything swells horribly (see how fat my leg is above) – your face, eyes, and leg. The pain is enormous, and to add insult to injury, the nurse makes you sit up within an hour post-op and cough . . . and cough . . . and cough. It’s sheer torture. The Spanish Inquisition should’ve taken notes.

The preparation for the surgery was psychologically freaky. They remove everything from you, clothes, glasses, wedding ring, books. You feel stripped bare, naked in the same way you must’ve felt when you came into this world -- alone and abandoned.

I couldn’t read. I couldn’t sleep. The hours were excrutiatingly long until the nurse prepped me, made me scrub my body vigorously three times. I shivered uncontrollably. You know, that kind of shaking when you’re going into shock? You feel cold, but the room isn’t?

And of course you worry that something will go terribly wrong, and you're achingly aware of your family waiting the long hours in the waiting room for the results. Mine arrived at 6:00 a.m., babies and all, but didn't get word of the results until noon.

Trust me, you don’t want to go through open-heart surgery. It’s hell all the way around.

So – putting on teacher lecture mode now – exercise, damn it, even if it’s only two minutes on your stationary bike or a five-minute walk the long way to get your mail.

If you smoke, damn it, stop smoking. It raises your risk immeasurably and no one likes kissing an ash tray.

If you don’t eat veggies and fruit, give them a try – one new one a week, or a month; every little bit helps. If you eat lots and lots of red meat, switch to chicken and fish, even if it’s only one meal a week.

We care for our Banditas and Buddies, whose hearts are so big they deserve to be super healthy. Don’t make us come after you with a stick – or worse, Aunty Cindy’s whip.

So, what’s your worse injury or surgery? Are you one of the lucky ones who’ve gotten to this stage in life without a broken bone or a tonsillectomy? It’s nearly the end of Go Red for Women month, so let it all out. Everything's mum in the Lair.


We're giving away an AHA Go Red pin for one commenter today!

Romance Writers of America and the American Heart Association have partnered to raise awareness of heart disease in women. Visit Go Red for Women to learn how to fight heart disease.

Sign up for the Go Red Better U Program and receive two free romance e-books. From Feb 1 through May 31, 2011, receive one free romance e-book when you sign up for the American Heart Association's Better U Program and one after you complete week six of the program. And look for the Eat Smart for Your Heart limited edition magazine (that features this offer) on newstands and in a grocery store near you.Go Red for Women is trademarked by the American Heart Association, Inc. Romance novel downloads provided by Belle Books.

Healthy Heart Tip for Today: You can make many of your favorite recipes healthier by using lower-fat or no-fat ingredients. These healthy substitutions can help you cut down on saturated fats, trans fats and cholesterol, while noticing little, if any, difference in taste.

OUR LUCKY SINNER (UH, WINNER)

from Sunday's post with Liz Lamphere is

SHANNON

Send your email addy to jo (dot) lewisrobertson (at) yahoo (dot) com

to receive your $10 Amazon Gift Certificate.

Congratulations!

HIGH ADVENTURE

by Jo Robertson


I love stories of high adventure!

When I read Liz Lamphere’s entry in the “Blog Your Way to the North Pole Contest,” I knew I had to invite her to visit the Lair and tell us about her adventures in Nepal, located in the Himalayas, and the "Blog Your Way to the North Pole" Contest.

Fortunately, Liz is a friend of my daughter Kennan, so introductions were made and Liz was persuaded to join us today!

For those who are geographically challenged, Nepal is a landlocked country in southeast East, located between China to the north and to the south, east and west by India.

Please help me welcome LIZ LAMPHERE to the Lair (see Liz above and to the right with the Himalayas in the background).

Jo: Hi, Liz, thanks so much for visiting us today. Can you tell us how you came to be interested in the Blog Your Way to the North Pole Contest?

Liz: I love to travel and write. When I was eighteen, I made a list of things I would like to accomplish before I die. A good portion of the list is places I want to visit. I think because I've made this list, opportunities have a way of finding me. I see this contest as a great opportunity.


Jo: Your blog entry indicates you were traveling through Nepal with students on tour (see Liz below with Nepalese students) and that you speak Nepali. Tell us about that experience.

Liz: I've been involved in humanitarian work in Nepal. When I go, I stay with a Nepalese family in a village outside of Kathmandu. Their English skills are minimal so I have to speak Nepali in order to get by. I had formal instruction in the country, but like any language, it was a lot of trial and error.

I created income generation programs (knitting and tailoring) for women who were in pretty horrific circumstances. I've also taught English to a group of village kids who were "untouchable." We were not allowed inside buildings, so we met outside in the dirt. I also worked in orphanages, where I taugh orphans basic sewing skills, so they could repair their clothes.

In 2008 I took a group of students to work in the orphanages. There was a lot of political instability when we were there. I was admittedly a little nervous to have them in my care. To read more about my work and adventures in Nepal, you can check out

http://lizlamphere-nepal.blogspot.com/.


Jo: Can you tell us a bit about your elephant-riding experience in Nepal?

Liz: Sure! Here's a portion of my blog entry.


“What’s your name?” asked the guide, when he found out I spoke Nepali.

“Raskumari,” I quipped. This reply guaranteed a hearty laugh from every local I met. Raskumari is a Nepalese princess, and the thought of a westerner having this title was apparently hilarious!

We were instant friends.

“Wanna trade places?”

“Absolutely,” I replied. I shimmied under the wooden saddle and situated myself on Poonam’s head. Poonam didn’t scare me. I felt connected to her because we were both single, 30-year-olds. She just happened to be an elephant. Certainly she could empathize with my frustration about my thighs.

No, Poonam was not my concern. I was concerned about navigating an elephant through the tiger-filled Chitwan jungle. We already had deadly insects drop from the trees and encountered a Rhinoceros family.

“The rhinoceros is the most dangerous animal in the jungle,” our guide noted anecdotally as we stared at the mom, dad and baby 15 feet away, “especially if there is a calf.”


Jo: Oh, no! And I was scared of the crocodiles!

For the rest of Liz's interesting story entry and to vote for this amazing adventuress, go to http://www.blogyourwaytothenorthpole.com/entries/208.

Jo: We're primarily a blog about romance writers, readers, and experiences. Tell us about romance in this country.

Liz: Because I worked primarily with women and girls, I got insight into relationships -- good and bad. Talk about drama! Romance has to be dealth with within the parameters of the caste system, arranged marriages, and other traditions.

My ruggedly handsome camerman (I made a documentary) who took me around the city on the back of his motorcycle informed me that he was getting married in a couple of months.

"To whom?" I inquired.

I don't know. My family will choose someone."

Jo: You’re such a young woman. I’m sure our readers would like to know about your experience with cancer.

Liz: I was nineteen when I got skin cancer, and it has affected my life dramatically. I have lots of visible scars, about which I am self conscious. I have not let myself become a victim of the disease, but I've had to limit or cease the activities that I hoped to spend my life doing.

My dermatologist misdiagnosed a sore on my face as a bacterial infection. A year later I was told I had cancer, which had spread below the skin's surface and become a serious life-threatening condition. This was the beginning of over a decade of battling this disease. I've had multiple treatments, a skin graft, and plastic surgeries. The cancer keeps returning to other places on my face, chest, arms, and legs. If I'm cavalier about protecting my skin from sun exposure, then a tumor inevitably returns.

I'm always happy to share my story and want youth to know that they are not immune to the harmful effects of the sun or tanning salons. The idea that tan skin looks healthier and prettier than pale should be an antiquated idea. So . . .

Pasty white is chic!


Jo: LOL. Any other adventures on your horizon?

Liz: I hope to go to French Polynesia this year to help with a library project on some of the remote islands. I also have some cool raced lined up. I do a race a month to keep in shape and to keep my adventure bug satiated. I'm most looking forward to my half-marathon in March in Moab, Utah.

A now a question for our readers: Any adventures of your own you’d like to share?

What unusual adventure would you like to see in your favorite romance novel?

Stick around. Liz will answer any questions you have about her adventures.

And for one lucky commenter today, I’m giving away a $10 Amazon gift certificate, so be sure to leave a comment or question for Liz!