"AND WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?"

by Suzanne

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would say things to you like, "If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" (That depends on why my friends are jumping off cliffs), or "Eat all your vegetables, because kids in China are starving." (Would me eating my vegetables actually stop them from starving?) or "Close the door, were you born in a barn? (I don't know, you were the adult in the room, not me--yes I was a sarcastic child and paid dearly for it). Those are the phrases we heard over and over, that made us swear we'd never say those things to our kids when we got around to having them.

Thankfully, I tried not to quote these to my kids. I did however, come up with a few of my own, some of which they say they can't wait to use on my poor grandbabies.

1. "Mom, can you make me a sandwich?"
Me: "Poof, you're a PB&J sandwich."
Them: "Awww, Mom, that's not what I meant."

2. Them, whining: "I'm hungry"
Me: "Hi, Hungry, my name's Mom, glad to meet you."
Them: "Awww, Mom, that's not what I meant."

3. Them, "You make me do chores just cause you're mean."
Me: "My job is to teach you how to be a functional human being when you leave my home. Being mean is a side benefit."
Them: "Awww, Mom."

(Aren't you glad I wasn't YOUR mother?)

Yes, my poor grandbabies will have to deal with all these questions and comments.

When my son was in middle school he did something stupid. Have no idea what it was, just typical teenage stuff to get into trouble, but not too dangerous. When I sat him down the next day to give him a lecture about it, he said, "Yeah, I know" in that slightly insolent way young teens have when they know they've done wrong, but don't really want to admit it. I thought a moment about how to get the point across so that he'd really listen. (That's him with his niece below.)

Me: "Yes, I know you know how stupid this was and I'd rather be cleaning the oven than dealing with your behavior, but see, I'm required to give you this lecture."
Him: "Required? By who?"
Me: "It's listed in the mother's handbook, page 35."
Him: "Mother's handbook? I've never seen it."
Me: "It's an invisible book of LIFE LESSONS, given to new mother's on the day they have their kids. Each stupid thing you do or are thinking of doing is required a certain lecture. Today's lecture is on page 35."
(I think we're up to page 260 by now and in the chapter on finances.)

And then there's my favorite parental comment. "And what have we learned?"

This is for those times when I want to see what they think of their behavior. If it was something good or bad. Did their actions give them the results they were looking for or end in some sort of disaster? Uhm, coming from me, I expect them to realize the decision they'd made probably wasn't a good one and not worth repeating. Their answer is usually prefaced with a deep sigh and a great deal of eye-rolling. (They are my kids after all.)

Unfortunately for my coworkers, the occasional doctor or patient, this comment gets repeated at work, too! Mostly getting laughter as the response.

So what does this have to do with writing?

In a good book, the main characters have to grow and change throughout their journey. They shouldn't be the same at the end of the book as they were at the beginning. In mysteries, they should've increased their deductive and observation skills to solve the mystery. In an adventure tale, the hero should have discovered he has more abilities than he'd ever thought in order to make the journey and save the day. In a romance, the hero AND heroine must change and grow in order to allow love into their world and gain their HEA.

So dear friends, what have we learned? What hero or heroine have you read recently that has learned a great life lesson and achieved their goal? Have you ever had to take a step back and evaluate your own behavior or decision making ability and learn from a certain situation? Got any good parenting lines you'd like to share?