The Finishing of the Special

So what did I say yesterday about life?

Well, I forgot it too. It must not have been anything of much importance or else you would have remembered. I would have remembered it. But no, I'm still prepared to bitch about my life. But no. Yesterday, I had a good day. I reached page 1,152 on my novel. It will be finishing in another ten pages or so. I'm wrapping up all the loose ends now. The Carlyle brothers are finished with so that's just about the end of the story.

Then I'm in editing mode. There's a lot of the story that needs explaining and reinter- preting that I have to get to. It should take me awhile and it should add pages to the story, which may swell it to my desired 1,500 pages. Just maybe.

But enough about that stupid novel. My guru has told me:

"so go on dreaming, even scheming, and go on living, and crunching those leaves under your feet, and go on doing shout out as long as you feel like it ...and go on writing poems, and inventing forms, and being generous to the homeless -- with their haunted eyes and tattered cloaks. go on looking for work and for your niche in society... you will always have the core of who you are, with you, greater than a shadow, because it is your own flesh and blood and breath and bone. no one could ever get closer to you than that."

So well put. I need to go on doing what I'm doing. Not be so concerned with my future. Why do I need a guru you may ask? Why do you quote her in your blog? Are you going to keep it up? Well, I'm at a crossroads in my life, hopefully, where things will change for the better. I'm hoping things will look up for me suddenly and that I will have the opportunity to get out of the hole I'm in. To prepare me for this change, I could use some wisdom in my life. I could use some seasoned help. My guru is much older than me, at sixty five, she has seen much more of the world than I have, has accomplished so much more, and has the wisdom that age gives. I am so glad to have found her. Our meeting was just by chance, and that's why I know that I will be experiencing a change soon, for the better, I hope. So I quote her in the blog, to give you an idea of the direction that I'm about to go in. So that if my actions seem uncharacteristic, it's not because I've gone mad, but instead I have been given a new outlook on it. So I will quote her from time to time, but only from time to time, because I know, dear reader, you do not need the admonitions from a sage, and so I'll keep it to a minimum.

Today I did nothing. Well I shouldn't say that. I did the email thing, and the novel thing, and the poetry and Haiku thing and well, I kept myself busy. I conked out early and woke up early. With nothing in the house, because I didn't do any food shopping last week, I split and headed to the bagel shop at 6:00am and got a few bagels for breakfast, and then sat back down behind my computer and did my thing.

Today is the SHOUT OUT. I still have mixed feelings about it even though I intend to do it every Saturday. It's tough though without help. I'm slipping on the paperwork, not doing too well with the scheduling, not doing to well with everything.

As for the SHOUT OUT, well Well, I only pissed off one group of people today. I really don't know how I did it, but one of the three (there were three of them) called out my name while he was actually reading as if I wasn't listening. I actually was reading who would be coming up next but he no doubt thought that I wasn't listening. Like I can't do two things at once. I'm standing right in front of the damned speaker you know. And then he says: "What we need to do is when we host treat everyone with the respect and honor that they deserve. I've been running a reading for a long fuckin' time and I know what I'm talking about." So, I guess it was about me. But for the life of me, I don't know what I did to offend him. At the intermission they all walked out in a huff and didn't even pay the hobo-fee of $3.00. I said goodbye to the one with the announcement on the stage and he just grumbled at me.

Well, those are the breaks. You can't please everyone. Maybe I can make it up to them at some later date. We'll see, but for the rest of the SHOUT OUT I rocked and rolled. I didn't spend too much time up on the stage trying to entertain everyone, but instead got the poets up on the stage like it's supposed to be. They are the ones that make the show, not the host. All I do is MC. There's nothing special with that.

Afterwards, I got another feature for January which is good. I just need two more to clinch the month. I skipped out of the SHOUT OUT feeling pretty good today, I got through it for another week, and I hope that I can keep the audience attendance up without OBSIDIAN. I know that the audience comes to see TWO of us up there, not just one. Well, maybe he'll be back soon.

I left out and went next door to...well you know who. I just can't help it. It's like it draws me inexplicably into its door. You know what I'm talking about, Kennedy Fried Chicken. I get a dozen fried chicken wings, some for tomorrow (Yeah, right) and take the fucking Way. I go downstairs for the L train and there is none. I just miss one the second I get downstairs, and then there is no more. The platform fills up with people and yet still no train. Typical of the MTA, fucking around with the trains just when I want to go home. I get pissed off, which is really hard to do, and leave the station. Fuck it if it comes, and walk the fifteen or twenty block across town to get to the 1, 2, or 3 uptown.

This is the hilarious part. I'm standing in the train, riding from stop to stop when I hear, like a whisper: "Attention passengers, attention passengers ....important announcement..." Now realize that this idiot is being drowned out by the roar of the train, but he keeps on talking. The other passengers seem oblivious of him. "The number....train will be operating in the express....to get to stops in between...."

I give up trying to hear this comedian and pray that my stop is not involved in all of this mess. It wasn't. I get out of the train and blast home. There i no place like home. None at all. I open my twelve chicken wings, cover them in hot sauce and chow down. Chicken wings have no natural defenses against me.

I'm going to get to finishing that novel as soon as I finish eating and washing my hands. I really can't believe that I somehow pissed THREE people off. See, you just don't know in this business.

Hobobob