Remember What You See

We had a great SHOUT OUT. D-lite did an excellent job with his feature. Everyone enjoyed his work. I was feeling no pain when I got there. Still high from drinking the day before, then smoking and drinking when I got to Otto’s, I hung out and enjoyed myself for a change, not stressing myself out with all the work that is involved with putting on the show.

I wasn’t going to work myself up, I read some of my dirtier work and laughed and cried with my fellow poets. OBSIDIAN and I worked as a good team. We always work well together, and we got the job done, then went and had a few drinks at the bar and got high. DJ came at the close of the SHOUT OUT and hung around with us for a bit. We stood, talked and finally made our way out and into the street. OBSIDIAN went and got a ‘portable’ which we shared.

We talked, like we used to, on and on, not wanting to stop. He rode the Way up to the 96^th street station with me and we just spoke and toked. Soon, it was late enough for me to go to the room and call it a night. I was roaring drunk by then and feeling no pain. I sat in front of my laptop, watching Television, when the thing got slow and turned off. Just like that. It went off. Son of a bitch. What is this? I turned it back on, and it played for a little while and then turned off. Just switched off.

A problem. At long last, another obstacle with my baby. She’s starting to show her age. I sat in the silence of my room, realizing just how lonely my life is without my laptop. No music, no television, no email, no phone, no life. Nothing. I am just alone and isolated. I tried to sleep, but it was just too quiet. I know not what to do. I looked at the laptop and it turned itself back on and booted up on its own. Shit, what is that about?

It played for a little while and I watched some television before it went out again. I was just starting to get into a show on MTV called Jersey Shore, about these group of 20something Italian Americans living in a beach house of the Jersey Shore for the summer. Interesting reality show.

I fall asleep, doing what I like to do, and as Sunday rolls around, I do nothing. My stomach is a bundle of knots from all the scotch in my system, my head is swimming, I am still hung over. I drink water. I don’t eat. I rest up my strength, do not real email, do not do much but watch Saturday Night Live, until the computer starts to turn itself off more and more. This is distressing. I now have to find out what is wrong. I play with it, and listen to it and soon find that my fan is dead. With the system fan out, the system overheats and has was is called a ‘heat event’. Where the motherboard circuitry gets so hot that it turns off the system.

My baby is broken. Shit. Now the plan is where do I go to get her fixed?? That’s the plan. I need this now. I really do. I do not allow this to get me depressed. There are more things to get depressed over. The sun falls rapidly on Sunday and I find myself up late, watching television, constantly getting up to turn on the computer as it goes out from time to time on my shows. Maybe I’ll read a book. Monday arrives and I am to get up, shower and head to the hospital to get another appointment set up with the mental health people, with a therapist. But I don’t. I stay in bed instead, curled up and watching television until the computer kicks out, leaving me stranded. Shit. Lovely.

Tonight, Puma Perl is supposed to be reading at the Nighitngale and I want to go, but I don’t want to go alone, so I email D2theL to see if he is going with OBSIDIAN to the show. I’m excited, I’m getting out tonight and getting some fresh air. He replies that she is not featuring tonight, but instead on the 15^th. Great. Now I have nothing to do. Nothing. I write emails and blog.

I can always blog until the computer drops out.

Tuesday, I’ll probably go to the hospital.

Hobobob