Sex In Dungeons And Dragons

One of the longest running gags in the early days of Dragon Magazine was the highly anticipated, never consummated episode of Sex In DnD, in the What's New cartoon, featuring the droll Phil Foglio and the randy and sexually-frustrated Dixie Null.

For dozens of issues of Dragon magazine, What's New promised a Sex in DnD strip, but the episode was delayed for various increasingly-absurd reasons.

Early on, due to delays in the arrival of some "equipment" for the Sex in DnD episode, Phil and Dixie instead report on a new approach to miniature warfare, using your bed rather than a sandtable.

There are some distinct disadvantages to this wargaming approach, not the least of which is the combination of miniatures with pointed weapons and a waterbed.

The introduction of color to the What's New cartoon precipitated a further delay in the Sex In DnD episode, for fear of overloading the colour generator. Instead, we are treated to a review of a new role-playing game, entitled "Price Wars" where you take the roles of competing FLG stores, trying to drive the other stores out of business. This can only end badly!

Dixie's suggestion that they spice up their private lives with a little cosplay, provides Phil with the inspiration for an episode on costumes for female characters.

Dixie gets her revenge at the end of the cartoon with a little costume-reversal.

In observance of Valentine's Day, Phil and Dixie take a lover's stroll through the Dungeon. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The omnipresent Dragon Magazine editors kibosh several attempts to deliver on the Sex In DnD strip.

When the editors are not objecting to the fact that the nude models are wearing hats that are too small, they are ringing Phil and Dixie to remind them of their responsibilities to report on the newest games releases. Thanks Kim, way to ruin an anniversary!

All those out-of-shape role-players provide the inspiration for the next episode, on how to keep in shape when your principal form of exercize is reaching for the dice.

Robot cartoonists threaten the livelihood of Phil and Dixie, but Phil is more concerned about the possibility that he and Dixie will be unable to deliver on their promise to do a Sex In DnD episode than he is about the loss of his job.

The What's New cartoon is supposed to highlight more than just Sex In DnD, it is also a forum for reporting on the latest games releases and role-playing controversies. But sometimes Phil fails to take his responsibility seriously.

Finally! All of the impediments to a Sex In DnD strip have been overcome! After years of frustration, we finally get to the actual Sex In DnD episode, complete with gymnastic and other equipment.

A salesman from the local Minigame company spoils the fun of course, with the promise of a big fat paycheck in exchange for reviewing his latest game. His comeuppance, drawn and quartered by four draft horses, is too lenient, in my opinion.

Several April Fool's Sex In DnD pranks are played on the What's New readers, such that even Dixie sees them coming a mile away. But what happens when the April Fool's prank IS the Sex In DnD episode?

Like poor Dixie wasn't frustrated enough: Phil accidentally switches the minds of Dixie and their pet dragon. He offers to hook her up with a cute dragon so that she can get some satisfaction. She doesn't take to kindly to his jest!

The mind switcheroo finally wears off, and Dixie gets some satisfaction. We never get our promised Sex In DnD episode though!

Sex In Dungeons And Dragons

One of the longest running gags in the early days of Dragon Magazine was the highly anticipated, never consummated episode of Sex In DnD, in the What's New cartoon, featuring the droll Phil Foglio and the randy and sexually-frustrated Dixie Null.

For dozens of issues of Dragon magazine, What's New promised a Sex in DnD strip, but the episode was delayed for various increasingly-absurd reasons.

Early on, due to delays in the arrival of some "equipment" for the Sex in DnD episode, Phil and Dixie instead report on a new approach to miniature warfare, using your bed rather than a sandtable.

There are some distinct disadvantages to this wargaming approach, not the least of which is the combination of miniatures with pointed weapons and a waterbed.

The introduction of color to the What's New cartoon precipitated a further delay in the Sex In DnD episode, for fear of overloading the colour generator. Instead, we are treated to a review of a new role-playing game, entitled "Price Wars" where you take the roles of competing FLG stores, trying to drive the other stores out of business. This can only end badly!

Dixie's suggestion that they spice up their private lives with a little cosplay, provides Phil with the inspiration for an episode on costumes for female characters.

Dixie gets her revenge at the end of the cartoon with a little costume-reversal.

In observance of Valentine's Day, Phil and Dixie take a lover's stroll through the Dungeon. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The omnipresent Dragon Magazine editors kibosh several attempts to deliver on the Sex In DnD strip.

When the editors are not objecting to the fact that the nude models are wearing hats that are too small, they are ringing Phil and Dixie to remind them of their responsibilities to report on the newest games releases. Thanks Kim, way to ruin an anniversary!

All those out-of-shape role-players provide the inspiration for the next episode, on how to keep in shape when your principal form of exercize is reaching for the dice.

Robot cartoonists threaten the livelihood of Phil and Dixie, but Phil is more concerned about the possibility that he and Dixie will be unable to deliver on their promise to do a Sex In DnD episode than he is about the loss of his job.

The What's New cartoon is supposed to highlight more than just Sex In DnD, it is also a forum for reporting on the latest games releases and role-playing controversies. But sometimes Phil fails to take his responsibility seriously.

Finally! All of the impediments to a Sex In DnD strip have been overcome! After years of frustration, we finally get to the actual Sex In DnD episode, complete with gymnastic and other equipment.

A salesman from the local Minigame company spoils the fun of course, with the promise of a big fat paycheck in exchange for reviewing his latest game. His comeuppance, drawn and quartered by four draft horses, is too lenient, in my opinion.

Several April Fool's Sex In DnD pranks are played on the What's New readers, such that even Dixie sees them coming a mile away. But what happens when the April Fool's prank IS the Sex In DnD episode?

Like poor Dixie wasn't frustrated enough: Phil accidentally switches the minds of Dixie and their pet dragon. He offers to hook her up with a cute dragon so that she can get some satisfaction. She doesn't take to kindly to his jest!

The mind switcheroo finally wears off, and Dixie gets some satisfaction. We never get our promised Sex In DnD episode though!

Intelligent Swords

"Among magic weaponry, SWORDS ALONE possess certain human (and superhuman) attributes. Swords have alignment (lawful, neutral or chaotic), an intelligence factor, and an egoism rating (as well as an optional determination of their origin/purpose). These determinations are made as follows:" - Original Dungeons and Dragons, Book 2, Monsters & Treasure, page 27-28

Another feature of old-school Dungeons and Dragons that has been lost along the way: Intelligent Swords.

The possession of an intelligent sword was a mixed blessing. On the one hand, you had a powerful sword, with extra abilities that benefitted yourself and your party. On the other hand, there was the possibility of a battle of wills between the sword's possessor and the sword itself.

In ODnD, swords with an intelligence of 7 or greater also had an egoism factor. The egoism factor was the will of the sword. Swords with high intelligence and high egoism had a chance of dominating the possessor, thereby subverting the will of the player to pursue his own objectives. For example, a dominating sword might demand that the possessor encrust it with rare gems and beautiful filigree, fight certain monsters, surrender itself to another more worthy fighter, or mount a quest in keeping with the sword's purpose.

Considering the potential battle of wills between the player and the magic sword, some may wonder whether the advantages outweighed the drawbacks. It should be understood that an ODnD magical sword, possessing the same bonus, was more powerful than those of later editions. See my earlier post on magic swords for a further explanation. Because the advantages of magic swords were considerable, and because many players relished the challenge of owning an intelligent and willful sword, I don't recall an instances where intelligent swords were not retained by the player.