Hobo-ness versus Elemental Forces

.

I'll fucking tell you why I'm tapped out.

I'm tapped out because the damn WELL- BUTRIN is starting to take effect and cutting the edge off my AADD and my hyperactivity. It took some time, but I'm slowing down by degrees. Which means, although I'm still fractionating, I'm no longer at desperation mode. Also, I'm still not sleeping and eating well. I'm up too many hours and I eat too little, but I'm putting on the pounds because of the ABIILFY. I also have the mad shakes. As if I'm drinking heavily again. This too, Dr. A thinks is coming from the ABILIFY. It's probably time for the mood stabilizer. I'll find out on the third of January when I see Dr. G again.

So here I am, sitting in the house on the day after the worst snow storm in recorded history, and I shake my head. I have to get out. Not that I'm suffering from some form of cabin fever. Oh no, this guy NEVER suffers from cabin fever. In fact, I probably suffer worst from WORLD FEVER than Cabin Fever. However, I do have to get my ass out and pray that the cablevision store is open so that I can pay my cable bill today. Without it, I lose the Internet, and if I lose the Internet....it means Hara Kiri or Seppuku. Or just fucking kill myself. One or the other...or is there one or the other, because aren't they the same thing? OH FUCK IT! You know what the fuck I mean!

Also, I have to mail some letters because the mailboxes were filled to capacity the few days just before Christmas. So much so that people stopped trying to get their mail IN the mailboxes and just started stacking them on TOP of the fucking boxes. I was NOT going to put my mail on top of a mailbox so fuck that shit. I kept them, but that only meant that I had to hold them past Christmas Eve, Christmas, and then the Sunday after Christmas. So now these letters HAD to get the fuck out of my room.

Finally, I was running low on rations. I needed to go to the grocery store and fill up on the necessary things to avoid parallelism. A new term penned by me recently regarding buying and getting food from food pantries and soup kitchens. I'll explain later. For now, let's get on the story of the Hobo versus the snow storm of the century! Who won and who lost?

First, as I got cleaned and dressed, the crows were flapping all around my door, claiming how cold it was outside. Cold. Something that I have learned is all in your mind. I'm not saying that I don't feel cold as a bitch sometimes. I'm just saying that the sensation is all driven in the mind and it will not kill you unless you suffer from frostbite and then cellular death. Here is the problem with that. When that shit starts to happen, you stop feeling cold and pain. So once again, it's all in your mind. All pain, for that matter, is all in your mind. So with the crows outside of my door screeching and yapping, I had to slow down and wait until they had left before venturing out.

Then I waited for the elevator as the Skeksies enjoyed their amusement park rides. I could hear the circus music playing up and down the shaft. So I wait, and I wait, and I wait until the elevator arrives. When I get downstairs there's nothing but frozen Skeks. These poor losers have no clue that nature does shit like this to people in general. They think that god is punishing them particularly, so they walk around moping and complaining how unfair it is that the snow is so high and that it's so cold out. I laugh. Unfair is having to LIVE out there like I did for two fucking years when it snowed. Not quite this bad, thank God, but bad enough.

Talk to someone about fair then. So keep your fucking nose clean in this building your ratshits! It can always get worse beyond your wildest dreams. So I go out and face a nightmare myself. Bundling up in my coat and hat, I step outside and into the mighty wind throwing snow like needles against the skin. The wind grabbed at every loose bit of my clothing and threatened to even lift a fat fuck like me like a paper plane. Shit it was making those little designer dogs into kites in the air behind their masters.

I trudge through the ankle high snow that was just mowed by a snow blower maybe an hour ago and pass a restaurant filled with stupid idiots. Why do I call these midget idiots stupid? Because these dumb fucks are standing out in the sidewalk before the restaurant that they work in, tossing buckets of boiling water onto the snow. Now this may seem like a good idea to melt snow away quickly and efficiently I can agree, but in less than freezing temperatures, this shit will be a skating rink in less than ten minutes. Motherfuckers will be crashing their collective asses all over the place very quickly idiots!

I shake my head and march on. this time climbing over snow piles created by the snow plows pushing the shit off the street and up on the sidewalks. Snow is everywhere. My home is a snow bound wasteland. You even walk funny in the snow, using muscles that you never knew you had. I made it to the post box, mailed my envelopes, then walked into the driving wind and found a big motherfucking guy, twice my size and height, walking ahead of me. I slip into his wake and use him as a wind brake. Instantly walking forward became a breeze and I used him all the way up the two blocks to the Cablevision store. I get there and there are these two little women, one pulling, the other pushing against a door caught by the wind. As soon as they see me, they scatter, leaving me struggling with the door, trying to close it against the wind, and finally succeeding.

I enter into the building and inside they have these obnoxiously large LCD screens displaying the news on all the cable channels. SNOW, SNOW, SNOW. DELAYS, DELAYS, DELAYS. CLOSINGS, CLOSINGS, CLOSINGS. No shit, Sherlocks. This is the worst fucking snow ever and they think shit is going to work right? Typical fucking New Yorkers. They hate to believe that this city can ever grind to a fucking halt. Hey, waitaminute...I'm in the fucking cablevision store, paying my cable bill! What the fuck am I thinking? I'm just happy that the Cablevision store is open by some miracle. I go and pay my cable bill, thanking the stars that now when I get home, I can surf and watch movies...oh, and blog.

I leave the building and soon as I open the door, the wind takes it from my hand and throws it open, almost sending me flinging out into the snow. Son-of-a-bi-hatch! I struggle with the fucker, trying to close it and some little woman walks up, "Excuse me," she says to me, disgusted that I'm trying to close a door that she was planning to go through. Oh, excuse ME, you old bat, I mumble and walk off. And this bitch strolls through the door and leaves it open. I wanted to make a fucking loaded snowball out of my piss and walk into the store and blast her in the fucking face, but I had the impression that I might get arrested for it. I mean, I'm not ten years old any more and can get away with that shit.

I trudge through the snow back to my apartment in literal agony. The muscles in my hips, calves, and ankles are throbbing in pain. I walked past that restaurant where the idiots were melting snow with boiling water, only to find that they had cleared a wide patch of snow and had salted right behind it. Good move. The salt dissolved into the water, keeping it from freezing immediately. Faster than it would have eaten through snow. I wanted to pat them on the back and apologize for calling them dumb fucks in my mind, but why? I'm a bastid.

I GO HOME. Yeah, I know. I still had much more to do, but I needed to take a Colored People's Break. If you don't know what that is, it's also known as an I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANY MORE break. I was hurting. So I went upstairs and laid down for an hour until my body recuperated.

Shit, I'll give you the rest on this later. I'm trying to keep these posts short, and damn, I just got started and this post is almost as long as my fucking arm! Why do I talk so damn much?? Can you tell me?

I'm a hobo. I should be fucking sleeping.

Hobobob