synopsis for 1st April

 10am - 11am        mails reply

   11am - 1pm         campus work

   1pm   -1.30pm      lunch

   1.30pm -2.30pm     bulk mailing DBA

   2.30pm -3.30pm     add posting

   3.30pm- 4.30pm     social networking

   4.30pm -6pm        work at home n synopsis    

Duck Season, Rabbit Season

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Have you ever felt shot?

I mean, have you ever taken a shotgun blast to your lower right spine, right at the belt-line, directly under the love handle. It comes out of nowhere. You just wake up and you can't move a muscle. You try to rise and it hits you like a stab wound. You're fucked and you know it. It's like watching your arm fall off and saying, "Oh shit, that's gone."

Oh shit, my back is gone. I threw it out. No doubt walking all over god's green Earth in the rain for hours looking for that fucking Dentist. I must have strained my back because even though it's weak, its stronger than my stomach muscles. Like everyone keeps telling me, my core muscles are out of shape. Really, I've built a considerable gut that needs to be shaved down. That's the problem. I'm too front heavy and it's making my back muscles strain harder to keep me standing erect.

I should be walking all bent over forward, dragged down by my increasing belt size. Still I fight against gravity and I'll win. I know I will, as soon as the weather changes. I want to do my walks again. It cleared my mind. It gave me an extreme clarity that I could use to make decisions from a distance. Damn near made me clairvoyant. I need my long walks also, to look at the New York women go by. Ha ha. I'm not joking. It's the best spectators sport ever known to man.

So getting in shape is indeed very much on the horizon. I will at that, and there is no one that can change that fact. I want to do well with myself this year. There's something about 2011 that has the feel of death to it. Maybe it's because my father is gravely ill, which hangs over my head daily, but I think I wear it's mantle pretty well. Many people would be all depressed and slowed down. Morbid and grim all the time, but I think I'm learning a good lesson from my father, which I can only describe as a stiff upper lip.

I spent some days with him and he only talked about his death once. For five minutes. The rest of our conversations revolved around the trivial. And still, all around us were reminders that he was going to die. Friends coming over to wish him well and to ask how he's doing ("Hell, I'm dying," he would laugh at them). A visiting nurse service dropping by with medications and wanting to monitor his vitals. Paperwork out the ying-yang from his military records, to birth certificates and the so forth to hand to the appropriate people. And through it all, he dealt with it as if dealing with selling a car.

Shit, I would be terrified. I hate the thought of a slow death, and this is slow. I never wanted to go slowly. My father is hoping that the final stroke will happen when he falls asleep. He hopes he'll just close his eyes one evening and slip away. I don't think so. He has the luck of my life. Or maybe I have the luck of his life. The short end of the stick at all times. If there is a fifty-fifty chance for me, trust me, I'll draw the short end every time. Knowing this, what I do when I have a fifty-fifty chance is pick, then stop and pick the other. This way I duck my first inclination that will be the short end. But that doesn't work either. It's like life switches it around at the last minute to catch me anyway.

In any event, I'm hoping my father gets the end he hopes for, but if it was me, I would prepare myself for the worst. That's another reason why I want to be there before he goes to hold his hand and give him moral support. It's times like that that you want someone there that loves you, and I do love my old man.

But all of this has nothing to do with my back. My back, which is once again in the way of my life, adding to my further suffering, as I had said before.  Life loves to see me in pain, because I have been the spawn of the Devil and I'm doomed to Hell. Whatever. However I offended mother nature, I'm having my ass handed to me, largely because I stop fighting constantly and take breaks that are way too long and too deep to be appreciated or tolerated.

So, like I said, there is something about 2011 that makes me want to get up and kick some ass, and I'm just watching the days click by. Soon, very soon, the bell will ring and the gates will open and I'll burst out, hauling ass down the track. I'm ready.

Shit, my winter vacation is over. It's time to get back on the stick.

Peace,

Hobobob

Coming Attractions for April

Posted By Kate

It's April Fool's Day in the Lair! But we're not fooling around! We've got an absolutely fabulous line-up for you this month and you won't want to miss out on one single moment of fun, prizes and general raucous behavior! Here are some of the highlights:

On April 2, Lair favourite, the fabulous Kate Walker, returns for another fun-filled visit to celebrate the release of her latest book, The Proud Wife, and to share some really great news about one of her 2010 releases.

On April 3, Diana Orgain visits us for the first time to chat about the latest book in her Maternal Instincts mystery series, Formula for Murder. As a busy mother of three, she's got some great tips for aspiring writers who can't find the time to write.

April 4 finds Kay Thomas back in the Lair, along with her newest Bulletproof book, Bulletproof Hearts, from Harlequin Intrigue.

On April 6th, Jules Bennett will return to the lair to talk about her April Harlequin Desire release, Her Innocence, His Conquest.

And on April 7, Cheryl Ann Smith talks to Donna about her journey to publication and shares an excerpt from her debut historical, School for Brides. RT Bookreviews says Smith “makes a dazzling entrance to the romance community with a charming, sexy, innovative tale that sparks the imagination.”

Don't miss the fun on April 8! Joan hosts the wonderful Kristan Higgins AND the hero and heroine of her new Harlequin release My One and Only as they play 20 questions.

On April 12, Jeanne interviews Maureen Batita from the popular blog, Romance Writers Revenge. She'll discuss her ebook, The Kraken's Mirror. Yo ho, yo ho!

And on April 19, Dianna Love will join us in the lair to talk about keeping dreams alive, and why she's sponsoring a national art contest based on the book, Blood Trinity.

On April 21, Patricia Rice returns to chat with Nancy about her first direct-to-electronic release, Evil Genius.

On April 25, our favorite witch, Jennifer Lyon, visits to talk about her two new books in the electrifying Wing Slayer Hunter series, Night Magic and Sinful Magic.

Kathleen O'Reilly returns to the Lair on April 26 to chat with Bandita Nancy about her new Blaze, Just Surrender.

There will be a night of scandal and mayhem in the lair when the paparazzi crash the ball celebrating the launch of Midnight's Wild Passion, Anna Campbell’s latest historical romance from Avon. Mark your calendars for hijinks and giveaways on Wednesday, 27th April! You can read the blurb and an excerpt here: http://www.annacampbell.info/wildpassion.html.

And Anna's holding a Midnight Madness contest on her website to celebrate the release of her latest historical romance MIDNIGHT’S WILD PASSION on Tuesday, 26th April. All you have to do is read the excerpt from MWP on her Books page http://www.annacampbell.info/wildpassion.html and tell her what color Ranelaw’s hair is. Email your answer to anna@annacampbell.info The contest closes 30th April 2011. For more details, please visit http://www.annacampbell.info/contest.html.

One more April happening: The RT Book Lovers Convention comes to Los Angeles April 6-10. Are you going? What are you wearing? Tell us everything! And even if you're not going, we can pretend. What fabulous fantasy costume would you wear to the Fairy Ball?

My Question to Mr. Ignatieff

31 March 2011

On Sunday, April 3, at 11:00 am EST, The Liberal Party of Canada will host a special live town hall meeting that will be streamed online at Liberal.ca. During the event, Michael Ignatieff will unveil the Liberal Platform and answer questions from Canadians.

The Liberal Party is inviting Canadians to pose questions to Mr. Ignatieff.

I have responded by submitting my question. Honestly, I don't think my question is very easy, but here it is:

"Mr. Ignatieff,

"I regard our present time as the era of investor exploitation. Mr. Harper's dismantling of the income trust program selectively harmed small Canadian investors and sold off Canadian assets to international bidders. Low interest rates punish savers and motivate investors to take excessive risks or to misdirect investments. The broad markets have been flat for a decade. In the western world, only the Australians have a different (high interest rate) policy. Capital investment (saving) is at the heart of economic growth. Do you favour restoring the income trusts, raising interest rates, and undertaking other policies to benefit savers and to restrain high-risk (speculative) activity?"

Well, I'm hoping for an answer.....

I'll keep you posted.
_

Thursday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is a BIG one! EmersonMade, the gorgeous fashion line from New Hampshire, is offering a $1000 shopping spree to one lucky winner! Eeks! They make beautiful clothes (including skirts and dresses and T-shirts) and accessories (like flower pins and gold coin necklaces). I'm in l-o-v-e with their jeans, and Toby wears their baby clothes! Their whole countryside life looks so dreamy and makes me want to move to a farm, wear a flower brooch and raise chickens. :)

For a chance to win, visit EmersonMade's online shop (and consider signing up for their Facebook and twitter), and leave a comment below telling us your favorite pieces. A winner will be chosen at random tomorrow. Good luck!

Update: Blogger allows a maximum of 5,000 comments -- apologies to those who wanted to enter but arrived too late! Mai from Seattle is our lucky winner. Thank you so much! xoxo

A Message From Clyde Barker

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 "Don't be an asshole Hobobob. You're missin' out. A woman with a gun can be your right hand man, fool! She'll even go down in a hail of bullets by your side, son. Try 'em, you'll like 'em."

Embroidered book covers

How breathtakingly gorgeous are these embroidered book covers by Jillian Tamaki? She made them for Penguin Books, and rumor has it that they'll be available this fall. SO beautiful. (I'm sure Jane Austen would have wholeheartedly approved. I love Emma's little freckles!)

P.S. More + amazing + book covers.

(By Jillian Tamaki, via Black Eiffel)

synopsis for 31th march

     10am - 11am            mails reply

   11am - 1pm              campus work

   1pm   -1.30pm           lunch

   1.30pm -2.30pm       bulk mailing ME

   2.30pm -3.30pm        add posting

   3.30pm- 4.30pm        social networking

   4.30pm -6pm            work at home n synopsis    

The Shrill Cry of the Banshee

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"HELP ME! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE! I'M BEING ASSAULTED HERE!"

Paula screams outside my door. I yawn. This is probably the seventh time this month that she has been assaulted in her room by the same man that she has a restraining order on. Somehow he constantly ends up in her room, day in and day out. And then one day, out of the blue, she is screaming out the above again in the corridor.

Strike that! Not ONE DAY, but late in the fucking night! I'm talking about 3:00AM! This bitch has the nerve to stick her water-head out of her door and scream. Honestly gang, I want to go over there with a baseball bat...and HELP HIM! If this man is such a fucking recidivist, what's the point of bringing him into your house time and time again? Are you a glutton for punishment? I guess you are because he still is beating your dumb ass!

It never fails with her. Time and again. I wouldn't mind if he hospitalizes her, but all he does is slap her in the face after she slaps him. Or threatens him to do something dumb, like slap an apple off of her shoulder. Trust me people, it hasn't turned into a violent act as of yet. It's that dumb, childish, I'm-crazy-in-love-shit that this is about. They slap each other around and argue and the next day they can't live without one another and making babies with all of those stupid assed Skek names, like Rolandshaka, and shalinda, and Lexus. I love Lexus. They're naming their kids now after cars that they use their dampened socks to wipe their windshields with to get a buck.

Oh yeah, don't put it past Paula to go out side with a squeegee and her underpants and dab them in a curbside puddle. Then come to your car and wipe down your windshield and scrape off the filth. Then roam to the driver's side of the car with their hand out. When they used to come to my car with that shit, I used to turn on the wipers. And being homeless, I never did that shit.

Yeah, like I said, I wouldn't mind if she had her ass whipped. Then she wouldn't invite this dumb fuck into her home every fucking day, and then when he gets out of hand, comes and stands in FRONT OF MY DOOR at 3:00 in the morning shouting for someone to call the police. Why doesn't she call them? She has a cell phone. Or simply leave your house and go downstairs and tell the security guards on the first floor to call the cops and stay in their office until they get there.

No, this bitch yells and then goes back into her room and argues with the fucker. Two minutes later he storms out of the room. Five minutes and the cops arrive asking her what is happening and she says that the guy has already left. This scenario plays out over and over again, time and again, to the point that it's a joke. Like the boy who cried wolf. After awhile you pray that the wolf does appear and the boy is eaten.

This is also to annoy if not to incite me to action. Which it does not. But honestly, I couldn't care less if I heard her body pummeled to death against my door. I still wouldn't move from one ass cheek to another. Fuck that. She steps outside, screams, wakes me the fuck up, and my normally two hours sleep is curtailed to one. Now I'm tired all day long. All day. That shit is painful. Now I have to try to sleep during the day, where it's lawful for everyone to make as much noise as they wish.

Try to sleep during the day and you know what I'm talking about. Even your kids make fucking noise that they don't at 3:00AM. So what are you going to do now Hobo? Start boiling a pot of water when I hear him knocking on her door and she lets him in. When she hops out to scream for someone to call for the police....well actually to do nothing more than to wake me from slumber, I'll jump up, grab that pot of scalding water and throw it at her face. And as she screams bloody murder, then I'll call the cops and blame her boyfriend.

This will work because they no doubt have a rap sheet in the precinct by now of domestic sort-of violence an arm and a leg long. The police will say that it was only a matter of time until it became physical to the point of abuse and no longer love taps.

Problem solved. I told you I have the answers to everything that ails you.

Hobobob

Colleen Gleason Launches New Vampire Series

I'm happy to be hosting Colleen Gleason today to celebrate the release of The Vampire Voss, the first in her new vampire series. Not only have Colleen and I been friends since we both finaled in the Golden Heart in 2003, but I'm a big fan of her work as well.

For those of us who are fans of your Gardella Vampire Chronicles, tell us how your new vampire series, the Regency Draculia, differs.

Both series are set during Regency-era England, with the Gardellas around 1819-1820 and the new series during the Napoleonic War—specifically in 1804.

The biggest differences are in the vampire mythology and also in the structure of the series. The Gardellas are really more of a historical urban fantasy series, following the life—and loves—of one heroine, Victoria Gardella. The books are really all about her as a sort of superhero (a vampire hunter) in a historical time period. There are no “good” vampires in the Gardellas, they aren’t ever the protagonists or heroes/heroines. The vampires are all evil, and meant to be slain.

I took a different tack with the Regency Draculia. These books are definite vampire romances, with a spotlighted hero and heroine in each book and a happy ending for them at the end of each story. There are over-arching subplots and romances—a la Suzanne Brockmann and Eloisa James—but each book does end happily for the main couple.

The mythology of my Draculia vampires is much different from that of the Gardellas as well, for in these books, there are vampires that run the gamut from being totally evil to being vampires with a conscience. The vampires in these books have basically sold their souls to Lucifer, and they are living their immortal lives with this knowledge—and with all of its benefits and repercussions.

One of the things that make my vampires different is that each of them has an Asthenia--a specific weakness.

Like the vampires of legend who recoil at the sight of silver, and who are weakened by its presence, each of my vampires have a similar “Achilles Heel”—in this case, I call it their Asthenia. And for each Dracule, it’s something different. For one, it could be sapphires. For another, it could be an oak tree. For another, it could be grass or horses or rosemary.

After writing the Gardella series, you began writing post-apocalyptic stories as Joss Ware. What brought you back to vampires?

I love to write historical novels (in fact, the Joss Ware series almost feels historical in some ways, due to the lack of infrastructure and limited technology in that world), and when it was suggested that I try my hand at a true vampire romance novel, set in the Regency, I jumped on it. I love that time period, and I’ve come to love my vampires too. ;-) After writing five books with all-evil vampires, it was a fun and interesting challenge to twist my brain a different way and to write about sexy, dark, compelling vampires.

Why do you think vampire stories continue to ride a wave of popularity?

I think there are several reasons, one of which is the aspect of escape. We—or many of us—read for escape, and what better place to escape than to a place where we know it’s not real...and where things are often much darker than they are in our own world.

Another thing, however, that I think makes vampires popular is the environment in which they live: darkness, sensuality, forbiddenness (is that a word?)...all of that makes these characters intriguing and compelling. And there’s the sexual aspect—the penetration, the need, the angst and the reality of what is it like to live forever? Those are all fascinating, titillating aspects of vampire lore, and each author approaches them in a different way.

As a reader, which authors of vampire stories do you enjoy most?

Some of my favorites are Lara Adrian and Jeaniene Frost, but I confess that I don’t read very much in the way of paranormal romances...simply because I write them.

I am a huge Buffy fan, however. ;-)

Tell us a bit about the characters in The Vampire Voss, the first in your new series.

Voss, the Viscount Dewhurst, has been a vampire for a hundred and fifty years. He agreed to sell his soul to Lucifer, and now he has everything he’s ever wanted: immortality, scads of money, imperturbable power, and all the women he can handle. If a man were to live forever with all the power and pleasure and money he ever wanted, I believe he would be just like Voss: Selfish, hedonistic, and, at some point, bored with it all.

Everything is going along just fine—if not becoming a little routine after more than a century of pure hedonism with no negative consequences—until he meets Angelica Woodmore…who is the first woman he finds himself unable to enthrall and seduce.

Angelica is one of three sisters (the eldest of whom is featured in the second book in the series, The Vampire Dimitri) who has a bit of the “Sight”, courtesy of their half-Gypsy grandmother. She becomes a pawn in a struggle between two factions of vampires (if I may....the “good” vampires versus the “bad” vampires).

Because of who he is, Voss is studiously neutral in this struggle—playing both sides—because he wants to use Angelica’s powers for his own protection. And Angelica is terrified of vampires.

So...you can see where this is going. ;-)

And then add in all of the aspects we love about Regency romance: the balls, the dance cards, the manners and repartee, the powerful, rakish viscounts and the bored, brooding earls...and you’ve got a good feel for the series.

Also, there are two more books in the series, coming in early May and early June: In The Vampire Dimitri, we meet a tortured, brooding vampire who has come to strongly regret his bargain with Lucifer and who is trying, in vain, to break that bond. Too bad the woman he falls for is fascinated by his Draculean bent. And in The Vampire Narcise, we meet a damaged female vampire who believes that love isn’t for immortals—because nothing can last forever, especially for someone whose soul is not their own.

Thanks so much for having me here! I’m going to give away a copy of the second book in the series, The Vampire Dimitri, to a commenter today.

To enter to win, either ask me a relevant question about the series or writing, etc., and/or tell me...if you were a Dracule, what would your Asthenia be?
~~~
Thanks, Colleen. Can't wait to start this new series. You know how anxious I was to get my hands on each new Gardella book.

So, get to commenting, folks. :) There's a great new book up for grabs.

THURSDAY IN THE GARDEN WITH DANTE: GUEST-STARRING DOMINO!

There is some progress in the back yard with the melting snow.  It seems to melt away around the edges first, which reveals patches of old grass and last year's detritus.  It's still too early for new growth of any kind.

This is a view of one half of the back garden taken from the deck.

Dante says "I am pleased to see da grass again aftah all dis time!  Even if it's mostly brown."

"Today, I has enlisted de assistance of my sisfur, Domino to give yoo de tour."

(Truth be told, Dante doesn't want to get his feet wet in the melting snow.)

"An' heer she is!  May I present her hi-ness, Domino."

"Wot a wuss!" mutters Domino.  Sumtimes yoo hasta leed by exampull."

"Most of da patio is alreddy melted, an' dere isn't even any puddulls."

"Ovah heer by da willow bushes, it's dry as a bone!", says Domino.

"I can smell da buds jus' reddy to burst out on da branches.  Daddy reely needs ta prune dese fings, doe -- it will help dem grow much thickah."

On her way over to the cedar bush, Domino strikes one of her famous Tai Chi poses.

"I feels so spirityooall out heer", she says.

"Is like bein' in da wilderness!"

It is pretty wild actually, because neither Daddy nor Mommy are very good gardeners.  We leave that up to the cats.

"Dat's it fur now", says Domino.  "An' I didunt even get my feets wet!  Did yoo see how it's done, Dante?"

"Yes", replies Dante.  "An' may I fank yoo, yoor majesty!  I truly valyoo yoor opinyon."

"So dats all fur dis week", says he.  "I kin hardly wait to uncovah wot will happin next time.  See yoo den.  Ovah an' out!"